Easter Sunday

Sunday 10.15 p.m.
                            I started to move some stuff out of my room today, stuff that was stuck in here months ago because  ... well, I've started moving it out now anyway.
                            This has been the worst day I've had in ages and it's all self inflicted. But I'm sober and straight now. No cannybliss yogurts. No nothing. Tomorrow will be a better day!!

Yesterday's Photies!

Easter Sunday 4.22 p.m.
                                     I was going to post these photies last night, but I got entangled with someone on the Meet Our Authors forum on Amazon and .... well, by the time I got round to writing the post, I was well over-excited so I just deleted it there.
                                     The apple blossom is just poking out now and you can see the red. I did a wee bit of digging this afternoon since I had to go to the allotment shop for compost (which they'd ran out of), but I will go back probably later on.
                                      Normally when I drink plonko collapso I don't feel bad the next day at all, but today - after the home brewed wheat beer - was a different story. No headache or anything, but I just don't feel great. So I poured the last three bottles down the sink and hope this can be the first sober and straight day for  probably a couple of months.
                                      The odd thing is that when I started meditating today the bliss was fantastic. It's probably not as good as it would have been had I been sober and straight last night, but .... maybe if I got really good at this juju, you could do that when you were sick. Like, feeling sick with your eyes open and blissed with them closed. But I think this is a bit too much to ask or expect. I guess if you're really ill, you'll just feel ill. But the hang over feelings just disappear, more or less, when you start to meditate, which is weird.
                                     Part of me says that I don't need to try very hard now. Whatever is happening seems to be happening whether I behave like an idiot otherwise or not. But this is not true. The times when I'm not meditating are being ruined when I've been drinking or smoking. Of course, I have to find a middle way.
                                      When I'm not meditating, I see the world more or less like everyone else. And I've always been an excitable boy. I'm going to try being sober and straight now till I have to go back to Newmains, but I don't expect to manage that. I'm skint anyway and this is boredom you can afford!!

Looking forward to quieter times!

Friday 6.53 p.m.
                         I gave away Wednesday, and Thursday, and today. This evening I was hoping for meditating time, but it seems that I somehow agreed to go to a concert this evening. God alone knows why.
                         This is a bit frustrating. Over the last few days, whenever I have been able to meditate, it has been apparent that the effects of the meditations are becoming very strong.
                         Just tell them to fung off, Hotboy! Just don't agree ever again to any appointments. Just don't. Do what you are supposed to do and stop pandering to the flatheids!
                         Fortunately, I have been vastly overspending of the allowance and to keep the finances together  I should really do nothing till July. Hurrah!! You'd think when you retired you could do what liked. Some hope!!

Boness

Wednesday 8.50 p.m.
                                 Brian Wilson took us in his caravanette to Bo'ness today. We also went to a railway museum and saw a steam engine. We walked beside a castle and looked over the wall at the Forth. I cannot remember what the castle was called. It was really cold. We should have had the bikes stuck onto the caravanette, but the weather in the morning was most discouraging, so we just went to Bo'ness in the caravanette, and walked about a bit.
                                While I was doing this, I realised that this was the kind of thing old people do. They drive their caravanettes to Bo'ness and then walk about a bit. Have a wee cup of tea maybe and then go home. And it was really most enjoyable. We could do it with our free bus passes next week. We could go to Falkirk. But if we did that we would not get lost on the way home. Getting lost on the way home is always a feature of going anywhere with Brian Wilson. It just seemed to be one big spagetti junction to me as we trundled along in the rush hour, heading for the snow covered Pentlands.
                                I had to spend some time over the last couple of days on the clicky clicky ebook marketing malarkey. I had all my books on for free yesterday and they were downloaded just a bit over a thousand times, which is not a lot.
                                The corresponding on the discussion threads is sometimes quite good really. Here's a bit:
LOL, John! Never hand someone your book and say, "good luck with that"! It's bad marketing:) J/K

I was a school librarian for a year and so far, according to your book, Scottish schools are EXACTLY like American schools. Too much admin, not enough learning. I'm just not as imaginative as your protagonist. Probably a good thing. This is such a funny book so far - and I have a pretty demanding sense of humor. Thanks for a fun couple of hours this afternoon; I can't wait to finish it.

Wow, John. That's great! I'll go ahead and add your books to StorySwag this Saturday, so hopefully that'll help, too. In my tweets, I've played up the buddhist angle, because that's pretty popular here - hope you don't mind.

And as far as what you said about talking a little differently: when I read your posts, you sound like Sean Connery in my head. That man's voice makes me absolutely swoon...and I'm not a swooner:)

          What do you think, Jack? Ask her to marry you, Hotboy, if she's rich and blind and half demented. She said they have green mountains in West Virginia. She's called Jimelle Salyers. You could google her and check out her books. I haven't read a novel in ..... at least a year!

                               

Hermit weather!

Tuesday 9:30 p.m.
                            What a wonderful start to the week. The weather turned filthy and I got to meditate. Brian Wilson has invited me to go down to Portobello tomorrow if it stays filthy and drink beer and listen to the Beach Boys and get my head jammed in between big speakers playing nonsense recorded by the janitor of the brother of someone who once saw a real live Beach Boy across the street. So we're praying for a great blizzard, Lordy, Lordy! Please dump three feet of snow on Portobello overnight so that them Portobellians have to stay put.
                             Great day! Didn't have to speak to anyone at all. Great meditations. Did the six threes of shadow boxing and was surprised that I was in reasonable condition. It must be the diggings.
                              My ten ebooks are free today. They'll down load about seven hundred times, I guess. This is very small, but it is Tuesday. I had a look at a free ebook site. Accidentally, I downloaded a free Emile Zola onto my Kindle for PC. How fabulous!! That might start me reading books again except for you getting the blenny blink staring the computery thing for hours and hours as it is.
                               The photie is out of the kiddo's bedroom window. You can actually get to the window these days, so I make take that photie every time I've not got a photie from being outside. It's a great view.

Thinking thoughts.

They walk like bears. The other one is my mother. My mother is not like them. She's more like one of us, or, to be fair on the wummin, us. She is us. But my sister Kay is another one. They are not on holiday for the rest of their lives.
                           These are feminine entities. I'm more interested in the auld maw than I am in any of these other women who do everything. But the auld maw is more like me. The kiddo has a bad temper and her hair is blondy, but otherwise she had the good fortune to be just like her mum. Except for the anxiety. The auld maw and us like her do not do anxiety. We act out. We are the axe murderers.
                           I think I have been a worry to some people, but I know that I am sane because I am a friend of the old, toothless one. Apart from the feminine entities, and these are quite old, these dolls, the only person of a masculine nature that I chance to encounter is the old, toothless one. Thank god for that, eh?

Delights!

Sunday 5.47 p.m.
                          I was playing this spanish guitar on Thursday night well after the mother-in-law had gone to bed. I was drunk. I was stoned. At one point I came back to myself and told myself to remember how delighted I felt. Beaming in delight. Beaming in delight, so I was.
                           I had a wonderful afternoon today. The Domestic Bliss had a birthday and we met the kiddo down at a place called Roseleaf, near the end of the cycle path I go on to meet the old cycling toothless  one. I had a brunch. We walked back down the cyclepath, which was weird and a wonderment. Get out of  the city, but stay in the city. The Northern Edinburgh Cycle Pathway is not so freaky when there are folk walking down it. Otherwise, you know you'll meet trolls, and horrible things.
                          What I'm trying to say is that normally I hate just about everything, but I loved today and I loved pausing in the delight whilst playing the spanish guitar on Thursday.
                           I think this might be something to do with ra bliss poking out, but it may be the introduction of the Mega B Complex pills.
                           There's someone I know who knows everything about medicine because he was at medical school for a year once and took enough from that to feed all the worries you could possibly have about yourself forever. Unfortunately, due to the brutal calvinist toilet training he had to undergo he will not say what he knows but tries to please people. So I will not ask him about the pills I accidentally bought, but here are some of the stats.
                         B1        RDA   9,000%
                         B2        RDA    7,000%

The RDA is recommended daily allowance. Not recommended daily amount. Allowance. So this is the same as any B complex pill except there's tons more of the B stuff in there.
                        Of course, I got sold the pills because I am a good customer and didn't look at the amounts in this pill until I got home.
                        What's going on, Jack? Well, Hotboy, once they got a mouse and gave it enough vitamin B to  re-float the Titanic and then noticed that it wasn't as demented as they thought it might be. Hail the mega B pillis. It's legal. It's safe, as far as we know. One minute you think you might not have enough B12, and the next you're taking 700 times more vitamin B12 than the RDA every day.
                          Wonderful! At last! Linus Pauling said you needed to take trainloads of vitamin C. As long as it's cheap!!!
                           Things have been a wee bit odd since I started taking these pills, but I'm maybe sensitive due to the mindfulness juju and all, but I think they're plus. Didn't docs ever give folk shots of vitamin supplements to get over their bad habits. Was it vitamin B or not?
                            But it was a lovely afternoon. With my family. With anybody. Usually, it's just more dukka, but that's because they don't drink or do drugs and aren't really all that interesting. But it was good today.