Sunny day constitutional!

Saturday 6.53 p.m.
                             Things proceed better when one doesn't drink. I'm still as crabbit as hell though.
                              After meditating in the morning, often I go out for a walkabout, a bit of a constitutional really. During the week there's nothing out there but old folk and young mothers and the generally economically unproductive. But it's so much better than walking about in Bellshill!! You just open the front door and it's all there.
                                I went a walk through the Botties today because the light was so great.
                                The meditations are definitely going somewhere else these days. Somewhere much better. Even with the sometimes inconducive lifestyle choices. The retreat would take away these choices of course. They've said to bring mitts of some kind or oven gloves to help you slide your hands over the shiny floor whilst doing the prostrations. What a bunch of wimps, eh?

Blog reflections!

Thursday 8.17 p.m.
                             Back on the beer. I stopped the nicotine today. I'll be back soon. So sometimes today I'm thinking that I can't wait till the evening when I can start getting pissed, and, hopefully, forget about the nicotine withdrawals. Then I goes out for the beer and I've had two, and it's still not great.
                              I used to really like blogging! I used to like reading it when I was half pissed because then I thought it might mean something. But I enjoyed it. Now I'm enjoying looking forward to stopping it, but it's a wee bit like enjoying looking forward to stopping nicotine. Except I think once I stop with this, I won't go back.
                              At first I was really bursting to tell somebody (else) about the bliss. I thought even the biggest moron in this world would want to meditate once they heard about the bliss, but the trouble with meditating is that you have to make an effort, and for the sweetie eating I didn't realise how difficult it would be for them to make an effort. Of course, I was used to trying hard. But only with things I wanted to try hard with. Like keeping fit and healthy. Like trying to write books when you knew you weren't really all that talented, and realised that the currants who ran this world would not like what you were writing because it basically told them, when it was good, to go and extinguish themselves. Because it is because of the bourgeois scum that the world is organised the way it is.
                               There is a person with a sore back. I said to this person a couple of decades ago that maybe they should get a decent sitting position (couches, chairs, etc. should all be set on fire!) and then the better alignment might help their back. Well, this is like trying to get the sweetie eating person to do something that might make them less unhappy in the future. So what happened? About thirty five the person has a sore back. No helping themselves. Twenty years later they've still got a sore back. Sometime over the next twenty years this person will be completely incapacitated by back pains.
                                Nothing anyone could ever do in the face of the stupidity.
                                 I don't have an answer for the big things, but little things like that ... of course, I'm  so crabbit and getting drunk from a similar source. Smoking. But even that is not as stupid as sitting all your life in a way that will hurt you. It is pretty stupid though. Are folk addicted to sitting in stupid positions? I think not. Lazy stupid basturns!
                                  So, I thought if you told folk about the bliss, they would meditate. Ha, HA, HA, HA!
                                   It's hard to do the juju when you are surrounded by folk who haven't the slightest interest in this and who are obviously suffering from the results of not doing it.
                                    The bliss that came on today was saying to me that this is what you can get if you stop smoking. This is the start of what you can get if you stop smoking today.
                                     I used to look at these wee baldy guys in the claret and amber and I wondered why they weren't as open as I thought they should be with other people. There is no point in telling flatheids about the bliss. The folk who are going to get into the bliss are going to get into it and there's probably nothing can stop this latent propensity from engendering something ...
                                     There will be a break at the beginning of January. I will be away from the beepy beepy clicky stuff. It has been nice being able to keep some contact with some folk through this blog, but all the reasons for starting it (Brian Wilson hassling me; the search for an agent, etc.) have gone now. It's really just another addiction.
                                       If I get to the Holy Isle and spend three months there, when I get back... dearie me! I hope I have the compassion that the juju folk have about the flatheids because right now I think it would be better for them and the future of the world if they would all just spontaneously die. Right now. This is not a compassionate position. No points!

Mare Cyclisting

Tuesday 6.32 p.m.
                            I went a cycle run today. I've been doing more cycling just recently, but Poisonous has been out of action for the last two weekends with a sore back, so it was nice to get out again. Finally reached Cramond, but did not stop in the wonderful bar down there for a drink. When I got out of the bath back here, I scaled 10st 13lb. It's been quite some time since I was ten stone anything, so that kind of widened my eyes. I'll make welterweight yet!
                             The damn camera gobbled up another three batteries in super quick time. It cannot endure. It cannot.

Recent Photies!

Monday 7.08 p.m.
                            I took these photies while wandering about the neighbourhood over the last few days. I try to do that every day. A break. I've started walking down to the library. I'm trying not to write or do anything useful at all.But today was great. Fabulous meditations like better and better and then go for a wee walk. Apart from the nicotine, everything is great. I'm  much fitter than I was since I stopped bevvying and started adding in the prostrations. Onwards and upwards!

Autobiography of a Yogi

       

           I was going to buy the kiddo's boyfriend the Johari book about chakras.  I couldn't find it, but I found a copy of the Autobiography of a Yogi. I read this book nearly thirty years ago and it had a big influence on me. Hope he likes it. I got it from the Big Jambo. Pass it on. I've started re-reading it. Must be the third time!
          The Domestic Bliss should be back sometime tomorrow morning. I've been meditating on and off all day. Yesterday I wondered if I'd meditated for 40,000 or 30,000 or 25,000 hours so far yet. During this time, the last quarter century or so, I have also drank, smoked, and behaved generally as badly as anyone else I know.
           So this evening I'm meditating and I lean forward into the dark quieter place and then straighten up. I cannot explain what that's been feeling like this evening. But it arises and floods through your body, and it feels as if everything has opened up, and it comes on brighter and better than ever before.
           Over the last day or two, despite the self imposed difficulties, the meditations have been wonderful, truly wonderful. As the boy says, this is my second pension and I'm so pleased that I'm going into my old age with this building up at my back!!
            What about the flatheids, Hotboy? Well, Jack, we are truly the authors of our own misfortune. And if they're too dumb to meditate, there's nothing anybody can do about that!!

Still home alone

Sunday 6.50 p.m.
                          The photies are from walkies in the Botties.
                          I've had an interesting week. Since last Saturday, I've smoked on probably just under half the days, so the purification has been more difficult than I anticipated. Thank God for that!! As the purification is making the meditations better, I've had trouble settling due to the johnnyjumpup effects of the withdrawals! But I have been making progress. I think the kundalini is moving further up the blue channel, if that means anything to anyone!!
                            I put on a few pounds this week. I scaled about eleven stone three or four after doing my shadow boxing session this evening. What a joy it is to do that instead of the prostrations!!
                           

A week home alone!

Thursday 1.16 p.m.
                              I meditated this morning for two and a half hours without changing position. This means that the jumpiness from the nicotine withdrawal has largely abated.
                               There are five sheaths mentioned in yoga. The bliss sheath is the third sheath. The fourth sheath is where your I-consciousness dissolves into the ocean of consciousness. I've been getting the odd intimation of this here and there, and I hope that's something I can get to when I go to the Holy Isle.
                                Why would anyone ever want to go into permanent retreat, the kind you die in, the kind you might be walled in for, Hotboy? Well, Jack, you might be able to get into samadhi, which is the fifth sheath, and that might feel so, so amazingly wonderful that there wouldn't seem to be much point in doing anything else, or hanging about in places where everyone else acts like a moron, and wanders around with their heads stuck up their backsides. Hmmm? Maybe still got a wee while to go with the nicotine.
                                I have to speak to folk today. I've been three days on my ownio, just speaking to shopkeepers and that. Just now I'm settling into it, but I have to go forth and interact today. Tomorrow I'll be going to Bellshill. God protect us from the flatheids!