Well, of course, I took some photies for this blog, but for some no good reason the machine is refusing to work. So I could not download the photies. So I could write a post, I emailed one photie to myself so I got have at least one. It has not arrived. It had to travel all of six feet across the room from the phone to the computery thing, but no .... too much to ask really.
Interesting to be in Denmark for the first time. We're in a place called Trige, near a city called Aarhus. That looked good today. And is quite a nice, scenic kind of a place, at least in some parts. But the part we are in is a big housing scheme. But everything is good. I will not let my happiness be qualified by the stupid machines. I only wasted a half hour on it today, so it's good to know when to walk away.
And the email still hasn't arrived. The photie was of a deer. There's a deer park with tame deer. Never was so close to one of those beasties before.
Monday, 31 July 2017
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Playing the last post.
I'd like to thank the folk who read any of these posts and, obviously, the folk who left comments, some of which were most amusing, and were much enjoyed, I'm sure, by other spam robots in other virtual cyber galazies in .... anyway, bye, bye.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
New Year's Day
Ist January, 2013. 2.25 p.m.
Looking for positives .... last year was the first for about twenty years when I didn't have to go to work at all. And I was not sick. And I was not skint. So hurrah for that!
It's been a hard year otherwise. Lost the auld maw and the mother in law within two weeks of each other. Two of the Domestic Bliss's best friends were handed the black spot last year. My pal from the west is just off the phone after telling me his wife is in hospital was heart beat problems. I saw an old friend of mine yesterday who is not well at all though mentally very good, and that's what counts. But it's not been good. Half the folk I see most aren't there any more or soon won't be. Terrible times really. This is the death zone you get into after turning sixty. But it can't go on at this pace and must abate due to the diminishing candidates. My daughter is at a hospice today for her father in law. Fifty four. It's just one after the other at the moment.
You can tell you're old by the faces of your friends. I see the world the way I have always seen it. Logically, it is illusory, but I do not see it as illusory. I see it as real. If I could see it as illusory, I would not have the emotional reactions and could veer towards equanimity. That's what I want to get from meditations.
This blog should come to a natural end tomorrow as I will be setting off early on the 3rd. I think I started blogging nearly eight years ago, when the world was a different place. I think I was wanting to get an agent so I might stop working. The blogging got a wee lift when I started to post photies, but since I can't do that anymore, when I get back from the Holy Isle .... I guess if I'm blogging, I'll have to do so from another blogging platform. But I think just now I'll stop. Going on about the bliss to flatheids who are too dumb to meditate is just plain depressing.
It's nearly three o clock and I haven't been able to meditate today yet. That's what these holidays do. Fung you up!
Looking for positives .... last year was the first for about twenty years when I didn't have to go to work at all. And I was not sick. And I was not skint. So hurrah for that!
It's been a hard year otherwise. Lost the auld maw and the mother in law within two weeks of each other. Two of the Domestic Bliss's best friends were handed the black spot last year. My pal from the west is just off the phone after telling me his wife is in hospital was heart beat problems. I saw an old friend of mine yesterday who is not well at all though mentally very good, and that's what counts. But it's not been good. Half the folk I see most aren't there any more or soon won't be. Terrible times really. This is the death zone you get into after turning sixty. But it can't go on at this pace and must abate due to the diminishing candidates. My daughter is at a hospice today for her father in law. Fifty four. It's just one after the other at the moment.
You can tell you're old by the faces of your friends. I see the world the way I have always seen it. Logically, it is illusory, but I do not see it as illusory. I see it as real. If I could see it as illusory, I would not have the emotional reactions and could veer towards equanimity. That's what I want to get from meditations.
This blog should come to a natural end tomorrow as I will be setting off early on the 3rd. I think I started blogging nearly eight years ago, when the world was a different place. I think I was wanting to get an agent so I might stop working. The blogging got a wee lift when I started to post photies, but since I can't do that anymore, when I get back from the Holy Isle .... I guess if I'm blogging, I'll have to do so from another blogging platform. But I think just now I'll stop. Going on about the bliss to flatheids who are too dumb to meditate is just plain depressing.
It's nearly three o clock and I haven't been able to meditate today yet. That's what these holidays do. Fung you up!
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Started packing
Saturday 6.00 p.m.
I've got most of my packing done. The problem has been that I've never been away from here for three months before. How long does a bar of soap last? I'd been puzzling this out and decided to leave it at two bars when I re-read the emails. They provide the soap. Anyway, I remember from visiting the Samye Ling that most of the stuff you take with you is completely unused. But there is an anxiety.
I don't know what kind of retreat place this will be. I assume that I may have to come home at some point, but the Domestic Bliss isn't expecting me. I told the kiddo that her maw was a bit unwell and I would have to wait and see .... and that's given short shift as well. So it looks like the two folk I thought ... anyway, off you go, they say, and don't come back for three months. I was a bit concerned about the Domestic Bliss, but her disease seems to be receding.
Today I finally stopped to strangle the Nicotine Dragon. Despite smoking practically every day since the start of September, stopping today wasn't too bad. The physical withdrawal I can handle. It's the horrible thoughts!!! But there weren't any today. So the first days on the island will not be too bad from the nicotine anyway.
I just checked and I started doing these blogs on February 2005. Brian Wilson told me to start a blog to help me find a literary agent. God, there's been a lot of water under the bridge since 2005. Of course, I'll have to take a break in a couple of days.
I've got most of my packing done. The problem has been that I've never been away from here for three months before. How long does a bar of soap last? I'd been puzzling this out and decided to leave it at two bars when I re-read the emails. They provide the soap. Anyway, I remember from visiting the Samye Ling that most of the stuff you take with you is completely unused. But there is an anxiety.
I don't know what kind of retreat place this will be. I assume that I may have to come home at some point, but the Domestic Bliss isn't expecting me. I told the kiddo that her maw was a bit unwell and I would have to wait and see .... and that's given short shift as well. So it looks like the two folk I thought ... anyway, off you go, they say, and don't come back for three months. I was a bit concerned about the Domestic Bliss, but her disease seems to be receding.
Today I finally stopped to strangle the Nicotine Dragon. Despite smoking practically every day since the start of September, stopping today wasn't too bad. The physical withdrawal I can handle. It's the horrible thoughts!!! But there weren't any today. So the first days on the island will not be too bad from the nicotine anyway.
I just checked and I started doing these blogs on February 2005. Brian Wilson told me to start a blog to help me find a literary agent. God, there's been a lot of water under the bridge since 2005. Of course, I'll have to take a break in a couple of days.
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Christmas Day
Christmas Day 1.55 p.m.
I'm having a great Christmas! Nothing has happened yet.
I was feeling a little delicate this morning, but as soon as I closed my eyes for the first meditation, I knew things had progressed. Profound was the bliss! And it had developed a little so that I thought I really need to do a retreat because I think you could sit for a long, long time in bliss like that. You drink and you smoke and it doesn't really seem to matter so much, apart from it stopping you meditating properly and making you feel like crap. But it is a wonderment, so it is, Jack.
I'm having a great Christmas! Nothing has happened yet.
I was feeling a little delicate this morning, but as soon as I closed my eyes for the first meditation, I knew things had progressed. Profound was the bliss! And it had developed a little so that I thought I really need to do a retreat because I think you could sit for a long, long time in bliss like that. You drink and you smoke and it doesn't really seem to matter so much, apart from it stopping you meditating properly and making you feel like crap. But it is a wonderment, so it is, Jack.
Monday, 24 December 2012
Barbituates for Christmas!
Christmas Eve 10.43 a.m.
I used to dread these holidays from about August, so things aren't as bad as they used to be. These holidays are when I have to give up doing anything I enjoy and am forced to do things that I know I will not enjoy, which is why I have been usually dreading them for months.
Last year I had the perfect Christmas. I managed to be on my own and had a wonderful day! I ate fresh bread and made a nice pot of soup. Sometimes I felt like singing.
We're having Christmas in the flat for the first time ever this year. This might be a good time to get carted off to the looney bin. I wish there was a heater in my hut. And a camp bed.
I can't stop thinking about the Holy Isle and what it might be like going there. It's going to be pure hell if I haven't wrestled the Nicotine Dragon to the ground beforehand, at least for the first week. My latest plan is to start it off the day after Boxing Day. I should be able to say to folk that I'm going to the Holy Isle on the third and why don't they leave me the fung alone. A three day fast. That would be perfect. No New Year. Stay in. Tell the flatheids to fung off.
'You're caught in a vicious circle, surrounded by your so called friends'. The inimitable Lou.
I used to dread these holidays from about August, so things aren't as bad as they used to be. These holidays are when I have to give up doing anything I enjoy and am forced to do things that I know I will not enjoy, which is why I have been usually dreading them for months.
Last year I had the perfect Christmas. I managed to be on my own and had a wonderful day! I ate fresh bread and made a nice pot of soup. Sometimes I felt like singing.
We're having Christmas in the flat for the first time ever this year. This might be a good time to get carted off to the looney bin. I wish there was a heater in my hut. And a camp bed.
I can't stop thinking about the Holy Isle and what it might be like going there. It's going to be pure hell if I haven't wrestled the Nicotine Dragon to the ground beforehand, at least for the first week. My latest plan is to start it off the day after Boxing Day. I should be able to say to folk that I'm going to the Holy Isle on the third and why don't they leave me the fung alone. A three day fast. That would be perfect. No New Year. Stay in. Tell the flatheids to fung off.
'You're caught in a vicious circle, surrounded by your so called friends'. The inimitable Lou.
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
Another Funeral
Tuesday 2.25 p.m.
I went to the funeral of a very nice man today, the best friend of my brother in law. He was only fifty. Handed the black spot in February. The best memory I have of this guy was having a chin wag with him about faith. He was a devout Catholic.
Of course, in the Disbelieving Congregation me and the spam robot are not interested in having faith in anything. We believe in less things than anyone we know. We believe in disbelieving things. Or in ignorance. Or in the illusory nature of reality.
But I have no problem with people being religious and having faith as long as their religion makes them better people. I'm sure having a strong catholic faith was a big help to the boy when he was handed the black spot, and afterwards.
From The Autobiography of a Yogi, it seems that yogis think that God is knowable, so you don't need faith. What you need is to get God realisation.
I'm very suspicious of faith, but I'm embarrassed by devotion. A lot of hindus are into this Divine Mother stuff and grovelling away there devotedly, and I don't like that. It's not a path that suits my disposition.
Buddhists don't talk about God, and they don't have a creator, but they talk about Mind. In English it's translated as Mind anyway. If you get rid of the deus ex machina aspect and the creator bit, God and Mind don't seem to be very different. Each is without qualification or defining characteristics. And some people talk about Self realisation. This isn't any different from God Realisation.
I haven't had anything like the religious experiences of Paramahansa Yogananda, but I have seen a higher self. This is not to say that I believe in it. And I'm not saying it's there. I saying I've seen it, that's all. This is nothing like as good as having a strong faith in God. When I was a kid, I had a very strong belief in God and that was much better.
When Yogananda got God realisation, he didn't know that's what it was. I think he was expecting to see somebody.
I went to the funeral of a very nice man today, the best friend of my brother in law. He was only fifty. Handed the black spot in February. The best memory I have of this guy was having a chin wag with him about faith. He was a devout Catholic.
Of course, in the Disbelieving Congregation me and the spam robot are not interested in having faith in anything. We believe in less things than anyone we know. We believe in disbelieving things. Or in ignorance. Or in the illusory nature of reality.
But I have no problem with people being religious and having faith as long as their religion makes them better people. I'm sure having a strong catholic faith was a big help to the boy when he was handed the black spot, and afterwards.
From The Autobiography of a Yogi, it seems that yogis think that God is knowable, so you don't need faith. What you need is to get God realisation.
I'm very suspicious of faith, but I'm embarrassed by devotion. A lot of hindus are into this Divine Mother stuff and grovelling away there devotedly, and I don't like that. It's not a path that suits my disposition.
Buddhists don't talk about God, and they don't have a creator, but they talk about Mind. In English it's translated as Mind anyway. If you get rid of the deus ex machina aspect and the creator bit, God and Mind don't seem to be very different. Each is without qualification or defining characteristics. And some people talk about Self realisation. This isn't any different from God Realisation.
I haven't had anything like the religious experiences of Paramahansa Yogananda, but I have seen a higher self. This is not to say that I believe in it. And I'm not saying it's there. I saying I've seen it, that's all. This is nothing like as good as having a strong faith in God. When I was a kid, I had a very strong belief in God and that was much better.
When Yogananda got God realisation, he didn't know that's what it was. I think he was expecting to see somebody.
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