I thought I should post here because if I wait till I can make steam appear on a wet tee-shirt then I might wait .... for who knows how long.
This is not to say that things have not been happening! When I sat to meditate this morning, it was not the same meditation I was entering as it was last week. Even yesterday. Something does feel as if it is opening and a little further up into my throat.
It was a year past in October when something happened when I was meditating and I thought, Here, we go! Here comes the heat! Not for the first time, but it did feel significant.
One reason for that was that I felt a wee bit trepidation. The last time I had any of that was decades ago when the pulses were shaking down my arms on the outbreath of vase breathing. Sid, RIP, on the Holy Isle mentioned that. The wee lama asked me if I was scared a while before that. Scared is progress!
It was nearly like a wave of flames coming up your torso, so you kind of pull back and away though you can't lift away from something inside you.
That's happened another twice, I think, but the problem with this path is that I can't remember ever having down down it, so I don't know the signs. All I know is that the meditations seem to be developing day by day. Also, when I'm not doing vase breathing, sometimes I have felt close to tranquility, but it doesn't last for long.
I was wanting to get some success with this meditation before I went back to Beaumont. I don't want to be able to do this in retreat and then come out of retreat and go backwards. This was perhaps not a great idea since I thought I'd be steaming wee tee shirts ages ago.
