Ist January, 2013. 2.25 p.m.
Looking for positives .... last year was the first for about twenty years when I didn't have to go to work at all. And I was not sick. And I was not skint. So hurrah for that!
It's been a hard year otherwise. Lost the auld maw and the mother in law within two weeks of each other. Two of the Domestic Bliss's best friends were handed the black spot last year. My pal from the west is just off the phone after telling me his wife is in hospital was heart beat problems. I saw an old friend of mine yesterday who is not well at all though mentally very good, and that's what counts. But it's not been good. Half the folk I see most aren't there any more or soon won't be. Terrible times really. This is the death zone you get into after turning sixty. But it can't go on at this pace and must abate due to the diminishing candidates. My daughter is at a hospice today for her father in law. Fifty four. It's just one after the other at the moment.
You can tell you're old by the faces of your friends. I see the world the way I have always seen it. Logically, it is illusory, but I do not see it as illusory. I see it as real. If I could see it as illusory, I would not have the emotional reactions and could veer towards equanimity. That's what I want to get from meditations.
This blog should come to a natural end tomorrow as I will be setting off early on the 3rd. I think I started blogging nearly eight years ago, when the world was a different place. I think I was wanting to get an agent so I might stop working. The blogging got a wee lift when I started to post photies, but since I can't do that anymore, when I get back from the Holy Isle .... I guess if I'm blogging, I'll have to do so from another blogging platform. But I think just now I'll stop. Going on about the bliss to flatheids who are too dumb to meditate is just plain depressing.
It's nearly three o clock and I haven't been able to meditate today yet. That's what these holidays do. Fung you up!
4 comments:
It was a hard year with many losses.
When I look in the mirror now I'm starting to see my grandmother in my face. It is interesting and strange.
I really hope the retreat at Holy Isle will bring you what you are looking for.
I will be curious to hear how it went.
Safe travels.
Marie! I'll probably be blogging somewhere! Hotboy
I say!
Is there a live feed from the Test Match at the retreat, or will you have to smuggle in a TMS radio?
MM III
I say!
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
MM III
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