Tuesday 10:25 p.m.
I had a joint or two at lunchtime and then lay down on the bed. Yoga nidra. This is special. After meditating for over two and a half hours in the morning, I knew it would be special, the lying down, after the lunch. So, there was a body yet of some kind, but there wasn't an awful lot of it; like the shape was just almost a shape, almost. And you think you can relax? Relaxing is really hard. But I felt very relaxed then. I at one point was wondering if my legs were crossed at the ankle. I moved a bit and I hadn't crossed my feet, so that was alright.
Then I went to plant the things that the Domestic Bliss was supposed to plant, but had run out of time for it, and I was going to do the diggings as soon as I landed on the allotment, but I sat down with my back against the post anyway, and .... it was amazing how it started, and I'm not lost in it, but questioning it: what is this?
Once when I walked out the jobbie for about ten weeks, I was sitting on the bench on the wee island at the Samye Ling, the one across from the stupa. I was sitting there on an overcast, dull day, but I had my eyes closed, and I felt like I'd been given some kind of wonderful gift. I was thinking that if I was a kiddo herding goats on a hillside, and had been told that if I muttered mumbo jumbo to myself, eventually, I would be able to close my eyes and experience this: the bliss.
This was about seven years ago. Today I sat down on the log against the post and almost lost the body, the awareness of it. Once I went beyond this and lost the senses, but now we are slowly marching towards this. And it is wonderful. There is no point in me being pissed off by the flatheids or the fate of the schemies. I can't do anything about that. All I can do is be happy!!!!
Tuesday 31 May 2011
Tuesday
Tuesday 9:20 p.m.
This is the third week I think since I stopped working. Of course, I'm not missing it one little bit. But the third week of the holidays during the summer is generally when you feel stressless, at least as much as you're going to feel.
I don't feel as if I've moved into tranquility yet. There's too much going on. I think the scanner is now okay, but I haven't been using it so there's still a book to be scanned. The Domestic Bliss has abandoned her part of the allotment so I'll have to dig and plant that, maybe this afternoon. My mother in law is still in hospital, but I have to get my business done before she gets out since I may be required. I've been doing stuff here and there with the consigliere about the kindle things. But I told the Domestic Bliss I would go to the movies tonight if she wanted me to, so that shows a difference. Before no way when I was going to work the next day.
My meditations are, despite all the bits and pieces of business flying around, going to very wonderful places now. I can't describe it and there's no use in talking to flatheids about it, but it provides a great reassurance. Everything is alright, for if you can just close it off, there is the bliss. In amazing amounts.
I watched the Scheme last night. What a shame!! What a waste! I saw the same thing in the Louis Theroux show the night before when he was interviewing folk in a Miami jail. There are more black people in jail and on probation in the states now than there were slaves. I wish everyone could get the bliss of course, but even if you told them about the bliss, they'd be too dumb to meditate. Even so called educated people from the evil bourgeois are too dumb to meditate. Sometimes this state of affairs strikes me as very, very bizarre.
If I get the bliss, Jack, because I meditate and other folk ... I think it would be nice to do some retreating here, from the war against the machines and everything else. There's something profoundly depressing about flatheids.
This is the third week I think since I stopped working. Of course, I'm not missing it one little bit. But the third week of the holidays during the summer is generally when you feel stressless, at least as much as you're going to feel.
I don't feel as if I've moved into tranquility yet. There's too much going on. I think the scanner is now okay, but I haven't been using it so there's still a book to be scanned. The Domestic Bliss has abandoned her part of the allotment so I'll have to dig and plant that, maybe this afternoon. My mother in law is still in hospital, but I have to get my business done before she gets out since I may be required. I've been doing stuff here and there with the consigliere about the kindle things. But I told the Domestic Bliss I would go to the movies tonight if she wanted me to, so that shows a difference. Before no way when I was going to work the next day.
My meditations are, despite all the bits and pieces of business flying around, going to very wonderful places now. I can't describe it and there's no use in talking to flatheids about it, but it provides a great reassurance. Everything is alright, for if you can just close it off, there is the bliss. In amazing amounts.
I watched the Scheme last night. What a shame!! What a waste! I saw the same thing in the Louis Theroux show the night before when he was interviewing folk in a Miami jail. There are more black people in jail and on probation in the states now than there were slaves. I wish everyone could get the bliss of course, but even if you told them about the bliss, they'd be too dumb to meditate. Even so called educated people from the evil bourgeois are too dumb to meditate. Sometimes this state of affairs strikes me as very, very bizarre.
If I get the bliss, Jack, because I meditate and other folk ... I think it would be nice to do some retreating here, from the war against the machines and everything else. There's something profoundly depressing about flatheids.
Friday 27 May 2011
Dreams
Friday 8:45 a.m.
Finally, I got onto my writing blog last night by changing browsers. It wasn't my fault, Jack. It rarely is, Hotboy. Well done, Jack! Changing browsers? How is the consumer supposed to put up with this crap? Some day I would like to become a recluse even if it was just to retreat in the war against the machines. The consigliere has sent me another thing to try on the scanner and I'll do that tonight before I go out. Dearie me!
I had a wonderful dream this morning. Quite often I dream that I'm lost in places, sometimes places that are pretty horrorshow, but last night I was lost in a housing scheme, which was full of young people, but I wasn't frightened at all, in fact, feeling confident going among them. Sometimes when I had a problem, a young person would spontaneously come over and help me. A lot of them knew who I was though I didn't know them, the way it is in school. It was schoolkids out of school. Towards the end of the dream more and more of them appeared to be wearing the uniform of the old school. Great dream!! A happy dream for once!
I was too tired yesterday from cycling for two hours the day before. Got to watch that. Pace the exhaustions. I'm looking forward to visiting Bellshill today. I get paid today or Monday. Hurrah!!
Finally, I got onto my writing blog last night by changing browsers. It wasn't my fault, Jack. It rarely is, Hotboy. Well done, Jack! Changing browsers? How is the consumer supposed to put up with this crap? Some day I would like to become a recluse even if it was just to retreat in the war against the machines. The consigliere has sent me another thing to try on the scanner and I'll do that tonight before I go out. Dearie me!
I had a wonderful dream this morning. Quite often I dream that I'm lost in places, sometimes places that are pretty horrorshow, but last night I was lost in a housing scheme, which was full of young people, but I wasn't frightened at all, in fact, feeling confident going among them. Sometimes when I had a problem, a young person would spontaneously come over and help me. A lot of them knew who I was though I didn't know them, the way it is in school. It was schoolkids out of school. Towards the end of the dream more and more of them appeared to be wearing the uniform of the old school. Great dream!! A happy dream for once!
I was too tired yesterday from cycling for two hours the day before. Got to watch that. Pace the exhaustions. I'm looking forward to visiting Bellshill today. I get paid today or Monday. Hurrah!!
Thursday 26 May 2011
Thursday!
Thursday 8:30 a.m.
This morning I'm going to meditate and make a loaf of bread. This afternoon I'm going to waste a few hours trying to get the scanner to work, but I will do at least another hour on the cushion. This evening I will plant the Domestic Bliss's cabbages and broccoli for her up the allotment, and do a bit of meditating as well, no doubt.
I'm oozing with positivity at the moment. This is the kind of life I was supposed to have when I was thirty five. Controlling my own time. I love it, I love it, I love it.
Yesterday afternoon I spent two hours on the bike and found the cycle path way to Cramond, but I cannot post the photies since that part of the machine was disabled to allow the scanner to work. Of course, the scanner still doesn't work. I took two photies of trees that blew down in Inverleith Park on Monday. I was bit awed cycling passed them yesterday. What force does it take to push a mature tree over?
5 p.m.
I came to the machine about an hour ago and thought I'd go to my other blog and write something about the most recent book to be uploaded on kindle and then waste my time with the scanner later. But I cannot sign into the other blog, the one about the writings, so I've been wasting my time trying to do that instead. Great these machines, so they are! Anyway, I managed to meditate for four hours plus today so far. At least that wasn't a waste of time!!
This morning I'm going to meditate and make a loaf of bread. This afternoon I'm going to waste a few hours trying to get the scanner to work, but I will do at least another hour on the cushion. This evening I will plant the Domestic Bliss's cabbages and broccoli for her up the allotment, and do a bit of meditating as well, no doubt.
I'm oozing with positivity at the moment. This is the kind of life I was supposed to have when I was thirty five. Controlling my own time. I love it, I love it, I love it.
Yesterday afternoon I spent two hours on the bike and found the cycle path way to Cramond, but I cannot post the photies since that part of the machine was disabled to allow the scanner to work. Of course, the scanner still doesn't work. I took two photies of trees that blew down in Inverleith Park on Monday. I was bit awed cycling passed them yesterday. What force does it take to push a mature tree over?
5 p.m.
I came to the machine about an hour ago and thought I'd go to my other blog and write something about the most recent book to be uploaded on kindle and then waste my time with the scanner later. But I cannot sign into the other blog, the one about the writings, so I've been wasting my time trying to do that instead. Great these machines, so they are! Anyway, I managed to meditate for four hours plus today so far. At least that wasn't a waste of time!!
Tuesday 24 May 2011
Visiting!
Sunday 11:58 p.m.
I had a fabulous day of meditating, but then I had to got and visit the mother in law in the hospital. I was a bit shocked. Maybe not too long to go there. But her family were there and talking and helping away. I was sitting beside the bed in a half lotus, as you do, and the Medicine Buddha juju was coming upon me. Just a wee bit. The bliss and the heat/ warmth and the feelings of trying to fill everything with the bliss.
The auld mother in law maybe doesn't have too long to go, but her family will be there and they do love her. The really evil bourgeois, who all deserve to die like dogs, will not have this comfort. They die on their own. The evil calvinist protestant toilet training regimes they inflict on their progeny, whom they obviously don't actually like, cause them to die like dogs of course, and so it will be. The mother in law, who is loved by one and all, will die in confusion, and love, and misunderstanding, but she will not die like a dog.
Just after one day of sobriety and not smoking anything, I was sitting at the mother in law's bedside and felt as if I was spontaneously emanating as the Medicine Buddha, but not quite. Just a hint.
Are you now entering the magical realism universe, Hotboy? I certainly hope so, Jack. Anything is better than this pile of shite!
I had a fabulous day of meditating, but then I had to got and visit the mother in law in the hospital. I was a bit shocked. Maybe not too long to go there. But her family were there and talking and helping away. I was sitting beside the bed in a half lotus, as you do, and the Medicine Buddha juju was coming upon me. Just a wee bit. The bliss and the heat/ warmth and the feelings of trying to fill everything with the bliss.
The auld mother in law maybe doesn't have too long to go, but her family will be there and they do love her. The really evil bourgeois, who all deserve to die like dogs, will not have this comfort. They die on their own. The evil calvinist protestant toilet training regimes they inflict on their progeny, whom they obviously don't actually like, cause them to die like dogs of course, and so it will be. The mother in law, who is loved by one and all, will die in confusion, and love, and misunderstanding, but she will not die like a dog.
Just after one day of sobriety and not smoking anything, I was sitting at the mother in law's bedside and felt as if I was spontaneously emanating as the Medicine Buddha, but not quite. Just a hint.
Are you now entering the magical realism universe, Hotboy? I certainly hope so, Jack. Anything is better than this pile of shite!
Not the usual Tuesday either!!
Tuesday 3:50 p.m.
After a whole day and night and the next day of not drinking and smoking ... what a wonderful life!! Managed to meditate for about three and a half hour so far. No wonder I've no time for anything. Right now I'm waiting for a phone call from the Domestic Bliss and then we'll be off to the west, so there might not be any time left for meditating after right now.
I'm not bothered about the scanner not working right today. A few desultory efforts were enough. Why sweat it? I've no time to sweat it.
I was really pleased to get an email from the consigliere telling me that Alma Mater was ready for Kindle. Don't know why. That's the sixth one, but it really lifted me somehow. I suppose there never was a chance of that getting published anywhere else. I never really tried. I thought I'd leave it when I was about forty and re-write it again when I was about forty five but time passed. I didn't write it for eight hours a day or whatever, but it did take six years out of my writing life which is twice as much as anything else. There are two quotes that go with it.
Newman: A university is an alma mater, knowing her children one by one, not a foundry, or a mint, or a treadmill
Malcolm Muggeridge, in the resignation speech as University Rector, January 1968. "Yet how infinitely sad; how in a macabre sort of way, funny, that the form their insubordination takes should be a demand for Pot and Pills, for the most tenth rate sort of escapism and self-indulgence ever known.
The bliss today was fantastic! I'm so so pleased that I gave up the jobbie. This is exactly what I need. Lots of time to myself. Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
After a whole day and night and the next day of not drinking and smoking ... what a wonderful life!! Managed to meditate for about three and a half hour so far. No wonder I've no time for anything. Right now I'm waiting for a phone call from the Domestic Bliss and then we'll be off to the west, so there might not be any time left for meditating after right now.
I'm not bothered about the scanner not working right today. A few desultory efforts were enough. Why sweat it? I've no time to sweat it.
I was really pleased to get an email from the consigliere telling me that Alma Mater was ready for Kindle. Don't know why. That's the sixth one, but it really lifted me somehow. I suppose there never was a chance of that getting published anywhere else. I never really tried. I thought I'd leave it when I was about forty and re-write it again when I was about forty five but time passed. I didn't write it for eight hours a day or whatever, but it did take six years out of my writing life which is twice as much as anything else. There are two quotes that go with it.
Newman: A university is an alma mater, knowing her children one by one, not a foundry, or a mint, or a treadmill
Malcolm Muggeridge, in the resignation speech as University Rector, January 1968. "Yet how infinitely sad; how in a macabre sort of way, funny, that the form their insubordination takes should be a demand for Pot and Pills, for the most tenth rate sort of escapism and self-indulgence ever known.
The bliss today was fantastic! I'm so so pleased that I gave up the jobbie. This is exactly what I need. Lots of time to myself. Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
Monday 23 May 2011
Not the Usual Monday!
Monday 10:20 p.m.
My months have been in a pattern recently. I run out of the canny bliss around about ten days after I get paid and then I start drinking. I stop drinking almost every night after a couple of weeks, and then I'm good up until I get paid again. So tonight is my first of, hopefully, a run of being sober and straight.
There goes the first human voice of the day. The Domestic Bliss has just come home!
So after this morning described earlier, I fell asleep after lunch for two straight hours. There was more meditating later and then I wasted two hours or so failing to get the scanner to work, and just beginning to find out about how to promote Kindle books. What I have to remember about the Kindle books is that I don't need the money. I can live modestly, as I have been living, on what I've got already. I know I have to make some kind of effort with the Kindle stuff or nobody will know they're there, far less buying them. But even if I put in some effort to promote them, they might still not sell. It doesn't really matter as long as they're there! As far as the scanning is concerned, well, there hasn't been any yet!! This happened for a while before I managed to scan the Whitelight book. I just don't like wasting my time.
The Scheme is on the telly tonight. A must watch especially since I was brought in one huge scheme, which is what Lanarkshire of my youth was.
My months have been in a pattern recently. I run out of the canny bliss around about ten days after I get paid and then I start drinking. I stop drinking almost every night after a couple of weeks, and then I'm good up until I get paid again. So tonight is my first of, hopefully, a run of being sober and straight.
There goes the first human voice of the day. The Domestic Bliss has just come home!
So after this morning described earlier, I fell asleep after lunch for two straight hours. There was more meditating later and then I wasted two hours or so failing to get the scanner to work, and just beginning to find out about how to promote Kindle books. What I have to remember about the Kindle books is that I don't need the money. I can live modestly, as I have been living, on what I've got already. I know I have to make some kind of effort with the Kindle stuff or nobody will know they're there, far less buying them. But even if I put in some effort to promote them, they might still not sell. It doesn't really matter as long as they're there! As far as the scanning is concerned, well, there hasn't been any yet!! This happened for a while before I managed to scan the Whitelight book. I just don't like wasting my time.
The Scheme is on the telly tonight. A must watch especially since I was brought in one huge scheme, which is what Lanarkshire of my youth was.
Mornings
Monday 12:30 p.m.
This morning was the same as yesterday morning and might be the same as most mornings from now on. Two and a half hour meditating. A tai chi set, a headstand, a backbend, dog pose. Forgot to prostrate today. Oh, well! Now it's something to eat and a wee nap maybe!!
This morning was the same as yesterday morning and might be the same as most mornings from now on. Two and a half hour meditating. A tai chi set, a headstand, a backbend, dog pose. Forgot to prostrate today. Oh, well! Now it's something to eat and a wee nap maybe!!
Sunday 22 May 2011
In the War Against the Machines Part 4
Sunday 6:40 p.m.
Well, the consigliere came round to help in the war against the machines yesterday and the scanner appears sorted!! Great! So I came to the machine a wee while ago and was going to uplift some photies for the bloggy and ... yes, whatever his disabled to make the scanner work has knackered the copying, imaging thing for the photies!!
He did show me how to get to the place where he did this, but I wasn't paying much attention and I'm not going to enable anything that stops this scanner working before I've scanned Cyclists.
What if you try to work the scanner now and it doesn't work either, Hotboy? Well, Jack, I'm meditated for about four or five hours today so far and so I'll just cry and cry, and not smash the machine to smithereens!!
We've got five books up on the Kindle thing now. Hurrah! Five to go, I think.
7:25 p.m.
Well, the scanner seems to be working, but it's not scanning the text for Cyclists. It says it's too difficult. I won't scan the text for City Whitelight, which it says is too difficult as well although it scanned the whole bloody book before. Anyway, c'est la vie. I'll leave it and return to this problem tomorrow.
How many hours do you think it will take, Hotboy, before you get it to work? I've got all the time in the world, Jack. All the time in the world.
Well, the consigliere came round to help in the war against the machines yesterday and the scanner appears sorted!! Great! So I came to the machine a wee while ago and was going to uplift some photies for the bloggy and ... yes, whatever his disabled to make the scanner work has knackered the copying, imaging thing for the photies!!
He did show me how to get to the place where he did this, but I wasn't paying much attention and I'm not going to enable anything that stops this scanner working before I've scanned Cyclists.
What if you try to work the scanner now and it doesn't work either, Hotboy? Well, Jack, I'm meditated for about four or five hours today so far and so I'll just cry and cry, and not smash the machine to smithereens!!
We've got five books up on the Kindle thing now. Hurrah! Five to go, I think.
7:25 p.m.
Well, the scanner seems to be working, but it's not scanning the text for Cyclists. It says it's too difficult. I won't scan the text for City Whitelight, which it says is too difficult as well although it scanned the whole bloody book before. Anyway, c'est la vie. I'll leave it and return to this problem tomorrow.
How many hours do you think it will take, Hotboy, before you get it to work? I've got all the time in the world, Jack. All the time in the world.
Friday 20 May 2011
Tonight's photies!
I was listening to Lama Yeshe on a CD in Bellshill today. He went through some mantras, one of them being the 100 syllable mantra. Boy, did he rattle through it. He said it was a purification mantra. He said he's seen folk vomiting and spewing blood whilst reciting it. I look forward to that.
If I see the lama sometime this summer, Jack, and ask him if can do Dorje Sempa juju lite i.e. without the 100,000 repetitions of the 100 syllable mantra .. what do you think he'll say? He'll say do them, Hotboy. Maybe I just won't ask!!
I was really looking forward to not drinking tonight, but when I came home from meditating and cutting the grass at the edge of the allotment, I discovered we had company. They've just come back from buying a Chinese take away. Oh well, once more into the breach, dear friends!
In the War Against the Machine Part 3
Yesterday afternoon the consigliere came round to help me with the uploadings of books and the sorting of scanners and in the general war against the machines. After two hours he was unable to sort the scanner and the consigliere knows about the machines. He took away the scanner and said he'd try to attach it to a laptop. When I got in from Bellshill a wee while ago, I had a message from him saying he'd sorted the scanner and that he's removed a windows imaging component that was conflicting with the scanning. No idea what that means. But soon I will be able to scan the Cycling book. Hurrah!
Yesterday morning I managed to buy my own book from Kindle and I started harrassing the world on Amazon by telling how great my kidbooks were. You could spend all day on this stuff, but that's alright. Soon I expect I'll be spending three hours a day on such stuff. Brian Wilson told me that just recently Amazon say they're selling more digital books than hardbacks and paperbacks combined. Who would have thought it?
Thursday 19 May 2011
Dunsinane
Thursday 2:20 p.m.
I was taken to see Dunsinane by David Greig last Friday. It was one of those preview shows which don't cost so much. I really wasn't dead keen. The first reason I wasn't dead keen was because it was a sequel to Macbeth, which I thought was a dumb thing to want to write since the boy who wrote Macbeth is really quite rated! Also, Outlying Islands by David Greig was one of the first plays I took the kiddo to at the Traverse and I didn't think much of it at all.
But Dunsinane was brilliant. Really well written and superbly acted. I don't know how long the rehearsal time is for The Scottish National Theatre, but it seemed line perfect well before the first night. It's hard to think of a better play for a company called The Scottish National Theatre.
I thought I'd mention this since I've just read that it got a four star review on the Times today which I'm sure it richly deserved.
I'll have to watch out about pre-judging things since Alan Wilkins wrote a play I didn't fancy much and then wrote Carthage Must Be Destroyed, which was as good as anything I saw at the Traverse for years.
There really are a lot of good playwrights in Scotland these days. There used to be none, or just John Byrne. And Tom McGrath. And ...
Off to the hut for the afternoon's meditations then!
I was taken to see Dunsinane by David Greig last Friday. It was one of those preview shows which don't cost so much. I really wasn't dead keen. The first reason I wasn't dead keen was because it was a sequel to Macbeth, which I thought was a dumb thing to want to write since the boy who wrote Macbeth is really quite rated! Also, Outlying Islands by David Greig was one of the first plays I took the kiddo to at the Traverse and I didn't think much of it at all.
But Dunsinane was brilliant. Really well written and superbly acted. I don't know how long the rehearsal time is for The Scottish National Theatre, but it seemed line perfect well before the first night. It's hard to think of a better play for a company called The Scottish National Theatre.
I thought I'd mention this since I've just read that it got a four star review on the Times today which I'm sure it richly deserved.
I'll have to watch out about pre-judging things since Alan Wilkins wrote a play I didn't fancy much and then wrote Carthage Must Be Destroyed, which was as good as anything I saw at the Traverse for years.
There really are a lot of good playwrights in Scotland these days. There used to be none, or just John Byrne. And Tom McGrath. And ...
Off to the hut for the afternoon's meditations then!
The way to do it!
Thursday 10:35 a.m.
I was up today around six and started meditating before eight. I've done a little over two hours so far, but also a backbend, a headstand, twenty prostrations and tai chi set. Now I'm going to ruin it all by attempting once again to get the Kindle for PC to work! No, I won't. I will stay calm. I will stay calm. I will stay calm.
11:10 a.m.
Well, that was no bother at all! I've downloaded Ancient Futures. This means that I can pester folk on the Amazon Kindle site to buy my kidbooks. Hurrah! After lunch I will fix the scanner.
I was up today around six and started meditating before eight. I've done a little over two hours so far, but also a backbend, a headstand, twenty prostrations and tai chi set. Now I'm going to ruin it all by attempting once again to get the Kindle for PC to work! No, I won't. I will stay calm. I will stay calm. I will stay calm.
11:10 a.m.
Well, that was no bother at all! I've downloaded Ancient Futures. This means that I can pester folk on the Amazon Kindle site to buy my kidbooks. Hurrah! After lunch I will fix the scanner.
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Yesterday's photies!
It's a lovely morning this morning. Spent a lovely couple of hours in the allotment yesterday in the late afternoon. The Spango Yogini sent me a URL about the Tibetan yogis and I managed to watch it last night. The boy who got told by the Dalai Lama not to die for a while was most impressive. You can find it here
Looks like my mother in law is getting too, too old to live on her own. The person who hasn't got a jobbie might be the obvious one to go and stay with her for some of the week. There is no computery thing in Newmains. After watching the yogis in Tibet, I don't think that's much of a hardship!!!.
Two day old photes!
Something seems to have happened with the camera phone! The first photie is of the path down the middle of the allotment before I started cutting it. I stuck a Medicine Buddha postcard on the hut door. The last is of the chaps playing creekit, taken over the wall on the way home.
I'm away up to the allotment now. I haven't been out today yet, but it looks blowy, and sunny, and rainy.
Hippies
Wednesday 10:30 a.m.
I thought it was Saturday when I wakened up today. The second carry-out cost Brian Wilson £45.Once when I was going to a wedding the next day, I spent the night in a caravan parked outside Lauriston Hall, which was a hippy colony at the time. Stumblebumming about in the morning of the wedding, we asked the hippies who were playing football for the time. They did not know the time. I think they knew they weren't hungry yet. I've always admired that. It was probably the same time as it is just now.
"Well, we started out on burgundy, but soon hit the harder stuff ..."
The kiddo showed up and gave me a tankard as a retirement present. How appropriate!
I thought it was Saturday when I wakened up today. The second carry-out cost Brian Wilson £45.Once when I was going to a wedding the next day, I spent the night in a caravan parked outside Lauriston Hall, which was a hippy colony at the time. Stumblebumming about in the morning of the wedding, we asked the hippies who were playing football for the time. They did not know the time. I think they knew they weren't hungry yet. I've always admired that. It was probably the same time as it is just now.
"Well, we started out on burgundy, but soon hit the harder stuff ..."
The kiddo showed up and gave me a tankard as a retirement present. How appropriate!
Tuesday 17 May 2011
Brian Wilson
Tuesday 11:00 a.m.
There are no photies in this post because I cannot get the photies out of the camera somehow anymore. Even wee machines don't like me!!!
Anyway, Brian Wilson - the half chewed pig's face hanging out of the hip pocket of his once snowy cream linen jacket, the fags sticking out of every facial orifice, the bottles of vino collapso clinking in the carrier bag - has threatened to come visiting this afternoon. I'll try to get him to watch this wonderful video about Tibetan yogis that the Spango Yogini sent me the url for, but I suspect he's borrowed some pornographic DVDs from the old, toothless one. Dearie me! Into the gross!
I'm a sitting target here, so I am, Jack! You're have to tell folk you've gone on holiday, Hotboy, or been sent to jail or something. Oh well! I'll sit in the lobby once again and await my fate!!
There are no photies in this post because I cannot get the photies out of the camera somehow anymore. Even wee machines don't like me!!!
Anyway, Brian Wilson - the half chewed pig's face hanging out of the hip pocket of his once snowy cream linen jacket, the fags sticking out of every facial orifice, the bottles of vino collapso clinking in the carrier bag - has threatened to come visiting this afternoon. I'll try to get him to watch this wonderful video about Tibetan yogis that the Spango Yogini sent me the url for, but I suspect he's borrowed some pornographic DVDs from the old, toothless one. Dearie me! Into the gross!
I'm a sitting target here, so I am, Jack! You're have to tell folk you've gone on holiday, Hotboy, or been sent to jail or something. Oh well! I'll sit in the lobby once again and await my fate!!
Sunday 15 May 2011
On being tired!
Monday 00:15 a.m.
Once when I was young, I was never tired. I did not have a jobbie and I would go to sleep about four in the morning and get up before the World at One came on the radio. I knew what it was like to be tired when I got a jobbie, especially the jobbie with the standard hours of nineish to fiveish. By Friday, you'd be funged, or, at least, I was.
This was half a lifetime ago, and now I expect I'll will be tired more and more, even although I have, just last week, got rid of the jobbbie element. But the good thing is that now I can nap, or do yoga nidra, which I couldn't do then.There is a slight problem in that the flatheid world does tend to run on the nineish to fiveish schedule and they may wish you to conform to this. This is called other people. Hell is other people. The first thing to renounce should be the flatheids. What are the flatheids ever going to do for you, the evil bourgeois basturns that they are? All they are going to do, Jack, is tell you to keep marching in line - def, dight, def, dight, def, dight!
It's going to take me some time to uncurl from the conditioning imposed on moi by these evil basturns!
Today, I was up at four and meditated for a few hours before falling asleep for a bit, and then having lunch and listening to the huns winning the league. Then a wee nap. Then off to the Botanics where I took the green photies from the spot under the tree where I chose to sit.
Sitting under a tree felt really appropriate. The grass was the less manicured and I hoped I wouldn't have to deal with flatheids, and I didn't. I kept my eyes open. Hoovering flies. The harrier jump jets of the insect world. And I sat in the hut, and I sat in the lobby, and I did the stuff with the book covers and blurbs, and all of that. Then I did one hundred prostrations and ten of Mr Iyengars yogic jumpings. Though I knew I wasn't going to or was supposed to, as soon as I spoke to a flatheid, and that was the first time since the morning, I ran out for a bottle of collapso. It wasn't their fault! I felt too tired to engage properly and needed a change from being knackered right then.
It might take me a little while to get this right. It's been a turbulent time these last couple of weeks. It'll take a little time for me to calm it down and appreciate the wonderful openings as they open. Now, they are not just so there and so easy to open because of all the crap I've allowed to get in there; crap about the job and the scanner and the nicotine withdrawals and ...
You're going to have to be able to live in samsara and engage with the flatheids and still do the wonderful openings, the satiation, contentment, and eventually the equanimity, Hotboy. Can I do this without renouncing the flatheids to the left of me, the flatheids to the right of me, the too dumb to meditate forever surrounding me, Jack? Well, there's no other way you can do it, is there?
At least, I don't have to go to work tomorrow! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Just don't get sick and die for a couple of years, Hotboy, and it will come your way!!
The first photie is looking straight ahead from where I was sitting under the tree. The other photie was what I was gazing down at. Green. I will chill out. I will chill out. I will chill out.
Saturday 14 May 2011
In the War Against the Machines. Part 2
Surely been a strange week for moi! This time last week I had no idea I would be retired right now. So I would like to get some things settled and then I can get down to the Samye Ling and speak to the man and ...
I want all my books up on Kindle and I want to be able to get onto that scene and posty and clicky clicky and advertise my wonderful writings. There are three obstacles.
1) To get all the books up on Kindle, I have to have book covers. My wonderful daughter is doing the covers, but this will take her some time. I appreciate that. I hate book covers. Last night, we agreed that she would give me provisional book covers so I could stick the books up on Kindle and then she could perfect the covers over time. This should be straightforward enough.
2) To get all my books up on Kindle, I have to scan one of them. This is actually the book that will bring home the bacon because it is, apparently, quite an amusing book and full of sexual perversions, and I always knew that this kind of thing is what the lowest common denominator would want to buy. But I cannot get the scanner to work. I will get it to work eventually like it did when I scanned the White light book, but that took about five hours out of what precious time I have left, and the thought right now of hassling around all bleeding day with this problem is ... well, not attractive. I have a resentment somewhere. A resistance.
3) I have to buy a book from kindle books before they will allow me to harass the public into buying my books by commenting, telling folk about them, and whatnot. I tried this once before i.e. downloading books onto the PC kindle reader and failed after the usual frustrating time. Today I was at this for maybe two hours and failed again. This is, of course, what some other poor basturn will have to do out there in the bongo bongo where they have a computer but no kindle device, and God help them!!
Knowing hardly anyone outside the ranks of the evil bourgeois, the kind of folk who lived in the houses with big walls around them, and no sense of community, but just little intense family psychodramas .. of course, they are so completely useless and will be no use asking for help at all, being all self serving basturns one and all, well, what should I do, Jack?
Stop building, stop accumulating, stop, Hotboy, just stop. The horrible jobbieness is now behind you. You have little money, but now is the time to refine your addictions and in this realm of desire, at least, desire the better things. So what do you want?
I want to be happy, and it would be nice if I could make other folk happier as well. It would help some people if I could spend a few hours every day clicky clickying to hustle these books, and make some money, so they didn't cry and cry when I mentioned that I wasn't going to work for the man anymore, and didn't mind sitting in the hut for as long as I could every day. But, if I believed in the guardian angels trying to direct this life towards a better conclusion, which I don't, but if I did, I'd say they're setting gremlins into the machinery, and saying this is all you'll get from this, Hotboy ... grief, sorrow, lamentations .. delusion, disappointment and despair ... suffering in this life!!
I'll try to wait till some folk who like machines can come and help me with the downloading and the scanning, or I won't even be waiting. I'll just go and sit up the allotment.
I hadn't been there for a while, until the early evening tonight. The change was amazing. Life is going hell for leather up there right now. It would be better if I slowed down and appreciated the subtleties as they happened. The growing is just so fast right now. You can't keep up. The blossoms have all gone.
Friday 13 May 2011
Lost Post!
I put a post on blogger yesterday, but they must have lost it. The blogger thing was down all day for some reason.
Anyway, I went to the Botties again yesterday and took these photies. I went to the secret garden and had a meditate there. When I opened my eyes, this butterfly kept flying away and coming back to sit on the book I had on my lap. You need something or the flatheids think you're weird just sitting there, and you are!
After a week with no tobacco, sober and straight at last!!!
Wednesday 11 May 2011
Bot shots!
I've started reading an interesting book Brian Wilson gave me. It's not about the Beach Boys. It's about holy willies in India. Very interesting! The first story is about a Jain nun whose pal starved herself to death. I'd heard of this before. Her pal said it was a good way to go and very peaceful. Take fantastic self control, of course. Tough guys and gals the Jains. Maybe tougher than buddhists. I thought Prahlad Jani was a Jain, but he might have just been a jani.
The other story was about a guy who performed as a god for three months of the year. He becomes possessed. His description of how this happened to him (like a lightning flash and then he could remember bugger all until the possession stopped) was very like the way the Nechung Oracle talked about being possessed by any one of six wrathful deities.
Nought as queer as folk, Jack!
Goodbye to all that!
The sandals are a bit interesting. I inherited them from my deid brother eighteen years ago. They weren't new then. I've worn them at my jobbies ever since. Don't know if I have much use for them now. If anyone would like to offer me a thousand pounds for them I might consider letting them go.
What a rollercoaster couple of days!! Got a lot of surprised messages today, but managed to slink off without much fuss. The heidie showed up and gave me a bottle of plonko collapso. It's called Rufus Stone. Heathcote Shiraz. And weighs in at 16%!!! I've never seen a bottle of collapso that strong. Just when I was about to give up my evil ways as well.
Going for a walk now on a sunny and rainy day.
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