On being tired!

Monday 00:15 a.m.

                             Once when I was young, I was never tired. I did not have a jobbie and I would go to sleep about four in the morning and get up before the World at One came on the radio. I knew what it was like to be tired when I got a jobbie, especially the jobbie with the standard hours of nineish to fiveish. By Friday, you'd be funged, or, at least, I was.

                             This was half a lifetime ago, and now I expect I'll  will be tired more and more, even although I have, just last week, got rid of the jobbbie element. But the good thing is that now I can nap, or do yoga nidra, which I couldn't do then.There is a slight problem in that the flatheid world does tend to run on the nineish to fiveish schedule and they may wish you to conform to this. This is called other people. Hell is other people. The first thing to renounce should be the flatheids. What are the flatheids ever going to do for you, the evil bourgeois basturns that they are? All they are going to do, Jack, is tell you to keep marching in line - def, dight, def, dight, def, dight!

                              It's going to take me some time to uncurl from the conditioning imposed on moi by these evil basturns!

                              Today, I was up at four and meditated for a few hours before falling asleep for a bit, and then having lunch and listening to the huns winning the league. Then a wee nap. Then off to the Botanics where I took the green photies from the spot under the tree where I chose to sit.

                              Sitting under a tree felt really appropriate. The grass was the less manicured and I hoped I wouldn't have to deal with flatheids, and I didn't. I kept my eyes open. Hoovering flies. The harrier jump jets of the insect world. And I sat in the hut, and I sat in the lobby, and I did the stuff with the book covers and blurbs, and all of that. Then I did one hundred prostrations and ten of Mr Iyengars yogic jumpings. Though I knew I wasn't going to or was supposed to, as soon as I spoke to a flatheid, and that was the first time since the morning, I ran out for a bottle of collapso. It wasn't their fault! I felt too tired to engage properly and needed a change from being knackered right then.

                                It might take me a little while to get this right. It's been a turbulent time these last couple of weeks. It'll take a little time for me to calm it down and appreciate the wonderful openings as they open. Now, they are not just so there and so easy to open because of all the crap I've allowed to get in there; crap about the job and the scanner and the nicotine withdrawals and ... 

                               You're going to have to be able to live in samsara and engage with the flatheids and still do the wonderful openings, the satiation, contentment, and eventually the equanimity, Hotboy. Can I do this without renouncing the flatheids to the left of me, the flatheids to the right of me, the too dumb to meditate forever surrounding me, Jack? Well, there's no other way you can do it, is there?

                               At least, I don't have to go to work tomorrow! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Just don't get sick and die for a couple of years, Hotboy, and it will come your way!!

                                The first photie is looking straight ahead from where I was sitting under the tree. The other photie was what I was gazing down at. Green. I will chill out. I will chill out. I will chill out.