Day Before Hogmanay!

Thursday 10:15 p.m.
                               The agitations among the flatheids have been kept at bay much better this year than any I can remember. I've hardly seen anyone since Saturday, and I haven't had anything to drink, but loads to smoke. The only problem was my sleep cycle moved on so that I wasn't getting up till ten in the morning, but even that sorted itself today.
                              Last night I was lying in bed, partly propped up by pillows, and doing the bliss through the yoga nidra. This was very, very reassuring. And I was tired. Sometimes, when I'm like this, I start to watch little pictures forming on my eyelids, usually of faces half formed and without much colour. Last night this was going into full blown vignettes of dreams, maybe only lasting a few seconds, and then I'd be conscious again. I wondered if lucid dreaming might start like that.
                              There have been times when I've lain in bed and couldn't tell which position my legs were in, and had lost the consciousness of parts of my body, but that didn't happen last night. In the bliss and then the wee dreamy bits, and then veering into unconsciousness is a very good way to go to sleep. And I was up at seven and ready for the meditation at dawn.
                              Tonight it looks as if I'll have to go out and see some people in a bar. They won't get the bliss ever, will they, Jack? No, Hotboy. They are completely funged! Oh, well. Once more into the breach, dear friends!

Strange Days!

Tuesday 10:10 p.m.
                              I've been holed up here, hiding away from the Sanity Clause basturns, for the last three days. Smoking bob and doing the bliss, and nae bevvying. I've only been on the beer three times in nearly three weeks now and for this time of the year that's practically like being a eunuch in a brothel, or anyway not having much to drink. So I've been meditating a lot. Today I felt a bit confined and went for the first jog in three weeks. I did the five hills run and much enjoyed it. Most of the snow and ice is off the pavements now. Cold and dark and wet, with some rain, and I can't think why that should be enjoyable at all. But it was. I've hardly seen any teevee. I've read a little bit of the second part of the Border Trilogy by Cormac McCarthy. He got better as he got older so there's hope for us all.

Christmas Eve, Babes!

Christmas Eve 5:00 p.m.
                                     Had to stop meditating today and go the collect the good mother. These photies were taken mostly coming back. The church is not called Cambusnethan Kirk. It's called Coltness Church.
                                     Half way home and some joe has parked on the other side and there's only two lanes and some  of the motorists on the other side were coming round the parked motor and into the Domestic Bliss's part of the road.
                                     Some people are just a bit more territorial than some other folk, Jack! Isn't that the truth, Hotboy, isn't that the truth.
                                     So, whereas more faint hearted folk might have slowed down or pulled over even further, the Domestic Bliss says you bastard, and gives it the gun. I was looking through the roadside window at this point, guiding the camera phone, and I watched the side mirrors of both cars go flashing past.
                                      That's more like it, eh, Jack? It should be more like the demolition derby, especially with all the safety features these new motors have. As long as I'm in the back seat and the victims are in the front! Yo ho ho.

Wells Fargo.

Thursday 7:40 p.m.
                             The castle photies and the Mound photie were taken at 7:45 a.m. on the last day of the jobbie till the 5th of January. I started to feel as if I might be on holiday yesterday, but Christmas never really feels like a holiday. You have to do stuff even if you'd rather not. But it's still a holiday.
                             I had to leave the flat this morning at half eleven to do my Christmas shopping and got back before half twelve with almost all of it done.
                             But you're not going to get peace and quiet, are you, Jack? No, you're not, Hotboy. This is a pity, Jack, because the meditations today were so wonderful ....
                             Oh, yes! Dale Robertson from Wells Fargo emailed the consiglieri and myself, saying that they wanted to do the consiglieri's idea. It's something to do with ebooks and I think they're going to do loads of my unpublished books, but I'm not really too sure. I wasn't really paying much attention to what the consiglieri and Dale Robertson were going on about and I was crabbit with it being a Tuesday and getting pissed, so I can't really remember events all that lucidly. Anyway, this might be a very good thing indeed!

                          

Team game!

12:25 a.m.
                So I'm tired and crabbit as I come home after a Monday at the jobbie. A whole day with little bliss, and too much business. Eat the soup and have a joint and lie down on the bed. Then I knew that was where I should be. The phone went once or  twice, but I tried to stick with the yoga nidra, and the lying on the bed. It had taken twice the length of time to get home because of the inappropriate snow. So, I'm eventually lying on the bed.
             The bliss came on. It was difficult to remember what it was or what it was like till it came on. But, it came on, this lying flat bliss.
              After some phone calls and other noises, I sat up on the bed, and listened to the news, which was about the snowing, and almost as soon as I sat up, the fabuloso bliss arose, and I had to thank my lucky stars. And, Oh, How I had forgotten it, with the dealings all day with the flatheids, and whatnot, the rotten weather, the wonderful children, the new teacher with her hard edge, but fabulously athletic body, and all that. But when it arose, this wonderful, thoughtless feeling, so impermanent, but worthwhile, I know that I was in teamwork.
             So the hermit is the quarterback, and although you are the slightly flawed hundred metre runner with the dubious drug testing history, when he throws the ball, you'd just got to be there. You've got to be on the park. All the genius work has already been done ... by Jesus Christ, the hunch back dwarf that no one has ever heard of .. all of those guys have already thought the thoughts and done the job and all you have to do is scream, Give me the ball! Give me the ball!
            But you've got to be on the park.

Milarepa

Thursday 10:25 p.m.
                               I've been finding the re-reading of The Life of Milarepa very inspiring. It is a wonderful book!!
                               'The nature of samsara is such that wealth which has been accumulated is dispersed, houses that have been built are destroyed, unions are broken, and all that is born must die. Since inevitably one suffers for one's acts, one must abandon worldly aims and give up accumulating, building and uniting. The best remedy is to realise the ultimate truth of reality under the direction of an enlightened lama.'
                              I'm getting better at the guru yoga, and have been since the lama went into the seven week darkness retreat the summer before last, but I'm still rubbish at it. I've got a lot of pride and arrogance and such like to deal with. If I manage to see him in February, I'm going to expect a hard time, like I had the last time. Milarepa had to build three or four towers with his bare hands and had to tear them down again, and put the stones back where he found them. That was before he even got initiated. I'll ask him if it would be good for me to learn the 100 syllable mantra during the week, and I think he might say that I should. And he might tell me to stop using the two mantras I do use, and lots of stuff like that. And I'm going to have to take his advice.
                            I got pissed last night and so started slowly today. The first meditation wasn't till ten and it was really wonderful. Then I did the hundred prostrations and went to Liberton Hospital. The meditation I just finished before coming to do this was really wonderful as well. I know I always say this, but they really do keep getting better and better. Even although I'm still a disgrace!!
                           Where's all this leading to, Jack? If you don't know, there's no point in asking me, Hotboy! I guess it's going where it's going.
                            I took the photie of the castle on the way to the hospital.

Wednesday!

Wednesday 10:50 p.m.
                                   Resonant telly this evening with Ancient Worlds. I wanted to watch the show on BBC 4 as well. Public service broadcasting! You don't have to phone in, or watch flatheids eating spiders, or be amazed by  vampires leaping and jumping.
                                   Last night I watched this show about this janny who worked out the sums to explain the succession of ice ages. He was a Scottish janny of course. In fact, the whole show was about geology and how the Scottishy folk more or less worked all that out. James Croll. It's great to be a Scottish person. People are normally totally depressed because they can't do the bliss, but if you just start with being so lucky to be Scottish ...
                                   All you can say about things is ... labels and functions. What is it called and what does it do. Other than that, we are in a bit of a grey zone. We do not have full knowledge. We don't really know what things are. Apparently, they arise with valid presence and you have to deal with that....
                                   The bliss, I know I've said, increases whilst one is engaged in the great juju. In the bamboo pipe, you go up or down. You don't stay the same. So far, I keep going up and up and up. Someday there may be the falling out of the sky, but I hope not and I do not think so. I am bits of other people. Arising in the moment for now to do the bliss. It took a long time from the creepy crawlies to get to this. I am bits of the creepy crawlies. And tomorrow I will try to engage in accumulation and purification, and it will not work very well, and this will be because of being assailed by the lying, basturn thoughts!
                                  

Sunday update!

Sunday 7:30 p.m.
                           I stopped wallowing with The Beer Monster on Thursday and rejoined in the dance of death with The Nicotine Dragon. I don't really understand this switch of addictions. As soon as something to smoke appears, all interest in the Beer Monster just goes!
                          It's almost starting to thaw. After two weeks of the weather disrupting everything, I've almost settled into the meditations! Since I got off from the jobbie on Wednesday I've done nothing much except speak to our friend in Liberton Hospital on Thursday and be entertained by the pizzaman on Thursday evening. Thereafter I've just been loving the absorptions. Also, since I've not been drinking and some expected appointments were cancelled, I was able to sit up meditating after midnight. This evening I sat in the hut from four till six. It's freezing up again. Send the snow through the night, lordy, lordy! Send the snow!!

Milarepa

Sunday 7:00 p.m.
                          Not much point really in posting bits out of the Life of Milarepa for the too dumb to meditate, but sensei and reverend meditates, and this is for my dharma brother who's probably too busy reading Japanese sutras to spend time on this malarkey. But if you only read one book about Tibetan buddhism, the Life's got to be it!

                          Some hunters came by his cave and started giving him a hard time, picking him up and dropping him, etc. Then they left.
                          'Although I did not think of using sorcery, they eventually received retribution at the hands of my guardian deities. The regional chief punished the hunters.The leader was killed, and all the others had their eyes torn out, with the exception of the one who had said, 'Do not harm the hermit!''
                         Meditators, ya bass!
                         He gets enlightened much like the buddha. He gets fed ...'beer and food had completed the process.' (Free beer for the workers!)
                         'I understood that in general all things related to samsara and nirvana are interdependent. Furthermore I perceived that the source of consciousness in neutral. Samsara is the result of a wrong point of view. Nirvana is realised through perfect awareness.'
                          'During the day I had the sensation of being able to change my body at will and of levitating through space and of performing miracles. At night in my dreams I could freely and without obstacles explore the entire universe from one end to the other. And, transforming myself into hundreds of different material and spiritual bodies, I visited all the buddha realms and listened to the teaching there.'

                          This is my favourite bit!!
                          'Whoever wholeheartedly believes in karma and dreads the suffering of the lower realms, a great longing for illumination will arise in him. This will lead him to devote himself to a lama, to meditation, and to maintaining a deeper insight. It is possible for every ordinary man to persevere as I have done. To consider a man of such perseverance as an incarnation of a Buddha or as a Bodhisattva is a sign of not believing in the short path.'
                          Well, there it is!

New Teacher!

wedNESDAY, 8 DECEMBER 2010

The New Teacher!

Wednesday 11:25 p.m.
                                            I do not know what her shoes were like. She walked into my library in black. There could have been black shoes. She had on a pair of black strides, fully embellishing her wonderful buttocks when she turned round, and a black top. It was a vee neck, the usual black top, vee neck jumper kind of thing. Simple in its elegance. This person is ... I can't tell what age people are these days, but probably of child bearing age, and with two wee kids kind of thing.
                                            So the new school teacher comes into my space, with the vee neck, and I think, 'Are you here to show me your breasts, or, as I call them for the sake of blogginess, your bits? Are you going to demonstrate your bits to me, babes, I who have wandered far and wide with no one ever interested in demonstrating their bits to me?'
                                             As soon as she enters this space, I must say that this thought, or thoughts like that, did occur. So she ignores me. I am a menial, after all. But she takes up locations with other peoples' children. She's very good at being a schoolteacher, she really is. Most schoolteachers are crap at being schoolteachers.
                                              Sometimes in the too-ing and fro-ing, there is a little bit of cleavage.
                                              When you got up and got dressed this morning, missus, did you know that you would flash a little bit of cleaveage? Did you know that you would display this in front of thirteen year old boys, who would have difficulty in doing their quadratic equations once you have flashed your bits at them like this? Did you think of the school librarian? Did you think he was lonely and a wimp, and that maybe a little bit of flashing would do him good? For the sake of mankind?
                                                  So she moved around from location to location, usually doing this wonderful job with the kids, much better than they deserved or could have expected from the usual run of the mill crap schoolteachers they are used to.
                                                 Don't come near me! It takes five locations before she comes up to me and then leans down and starts talking to me about something. Fung knows what! The vee neck jumper is black and the bra is black. Her bits are not all that fantastic, just the usual bits. The bra is fascinating however. It's dead low cut, if I remember right, and I'm fixated by this bit in the middle, which is kind of clasped and holding the whole thing together. Some kind of middle clasped black bra, low cut to accentuate your bits.
                                                    Can I say, 'Stand a little straighter, missus! I am not interested in viewing your bits! Please take your bits away and cover them up in bandages?'  What am I supposed to say?
                                                   Well, Hotboy, what would you have liked to say? I would have like to say, Jack, that I've only got fifty pence on me and is that enough for ...
                                                  I'm sure she meant nothing by it. I'm sure she dressed as demurely as she could, but because she looked like ... strong, viking wummin, and tough, and a good tennis player, volley ball, squealing, and screaming and bouncing kind of superstar ... because you're that kind of babes, why don't you just go and bother someone else?

                                                 St Antony jumped into the nettles when the saw the babes naked and washing herself in the pool. I don't think eating the nettles had occurred to him!

Milarepa and the nettles!

Wednesday 6:45 p.m.
                                 The first two photies were taken at the bus stop this morning. The photie of Stewart Melville's was taken on my way home on Monday afternoon.
                                  Here's a bit of the Life of Milarepa. Translated by Lobsang P. Lhalungpa.
                                  These hunters show up at his cave and they want to get some food off him. He says he hasn't got anything good for them, so they say they'll eat what he eats.
                                   'Very well, make a fire and cook some nettles.'
                                    When they had made the fire and cooked the nettles, they asked for meat.
                                     I replied, 'If I had some meat, my food would be nourishing. I have not had any for many years. Use more nettles instead.'
                                      'Then we want bones.'
                                      'If I had bones, my food would not be so tasteless. I have done without them for years. Just use more nettles.'
                                      'But we cannot do without salt.'
                                      'Use the nettles as salt.'

                                       It's a dead interesting book!! I found that dialogue really funny, almost Pythonesque. Of course, the Buddha advised against severe asceticism. He probably advised against murdering tens of folk as well!

                                       The weather is now very cold. I have to get to Liberton Hospital tomorrow and, hopefully, Bellshill on Friday, probably Newmains on Sunday. Oh well! God preserve us from the flatheids!!
                            

The Wee Long March!

Tuesday 9:00 p.m.
                            On Sunday night, when I thought the weather forecast was for no snow, I pled to God to send the snow. And, lo, it was a bit of blizzard before you knew it. So I got to the jobbie and they finally shut it and sent us home just as the buses stopped running. I had to walk home. I had on my walking boots and long johns (is that too much information?), and a many layered top - well, tee shirt, shirt, woollen jumper, sweatshirt, body warmer and jacket. Really, you should be able to walk across the Yukon the way I was wrapped up. A wee bit over two hours I got home. I'd never felt wet, but my shirt was wringing in sweat and the woollen jumper was definitely damp. Sweating through three layers! That's the way to do it!
                             I've ran most of the road a great many times. I even switched up to what I knew would be a worse route because it was going down Ravelstone Dykes, which is sometimes lovely. And it was yesterday afternoon in the snow as it is when the cherry blossoms come out. Aye, it was okay for me. You wouldn't want to be an auld wummin waiting for a bus, neither your would.
                               Anyway, the photies are from the last couple of days.

Stir fever!!

Saturday 8:30 p.m.
                            From the Life Of Milarepa:
                            'In our midst, the lama showed the forms of Yidam Hevajra, of Chakrasamvara, of Guhyasamaja, and others ...
                            Then  he said; 'These are psychophysical transformations. To display them casually serves little purpose. I have shown them on the occasion of Milarepa's departure.'
                            Having seen the lama as a Living Buddha, I was filled with great joy. I thought I would also try to achieve such miraculous power through my meditation.'
                            Today I walked home through the Botties and it was quite beautiful sometimes, but I'm tired of the snow. I'm tired of the beer. I need a little change. I think I might go out for a pint with the Domestic Bliss!
                            

Bliss update!

Friday 9:20 p.m.
                         What with it being the start of the month, the snowing, but mainly because there is no soapbar, I've been drinking far too much! Every night  I think I should be like Milarepa and stay meditating, but every night I've been going to the off-license instead. I had been drinking the plonko collapso, but I'm really a beer drinker at heart.
                           I got four tonight. Just poured the first one. Peckham's have stopped stocking the Erdinger I like. This one is called Schneider Weisse Tap 6. It weighs in at a very impressive alc. 8.2 % vol and costs an atrocious £2.79. I bought two of those and two Grolsch Wheatbeer which costs £2.45 and weighs in at a less impressive alc 5.3% vol.
                          After four of these I know I will waken up slightly muggy, but more or less intact. It's worth it to buy the dear stuff. Anyway, this post was supposed to be about ra bliss and not about ra piss!
                           I couldn't go to see the Auld Maw today because the snow has stopped the trains. I started meditating  just after ten. This is late and because of the beer dose from last night. Anyway, I could tell right away that the bus had moved on considerably. I put in a lot of meditating yesterday before I hit the beer and it showed alright. Also, I wasn't at work on Monday or Tuesday, and only did the half day on Wednesday, so I've been hammering the meditations all week really, maybe doing about six hours a day.
                            This is not enough, Jack! I know, Hotboy. You should be doing eight hours a day if you're not writing and not going to the jobbie! Oh well!
                            Anyway, this morning was just fabulous. Tons of bliss, some heat, things opening and whatnot. But it's ridiculous that I'm drinking. I'm acting as if I'm going to live forever, or have no faith in this juju; just idling along with the pollutions and all. The thing is I don't have any faith in anything. The Dalai Lama says he's not a buddha, so what bloody chance have I got?
                            There's a boy on a video I stuck on facebook who says you have to endure the hardship, and I'm afraid I'm just a wimp when it comes to that. Doing six hours a day is quite easy and enjoyable. I don't know if it would be enjoyable to be walled up, never sleeping, sitting with a butter lamp on your head ...
                             Of course, it would be wonderful, Hotboy!! Remember the bliss! Remember the visualisations you might achieve! When you were tired and sore, it might be horrible, of course, but it would be worth it. So it would. You just have to get your head into that determined space maybe.
                             Alexandra David-Neel said she loved it when the snows came and the passes were blocked and she could sit in her hut meditating until the spring. I think she did a twelve year stint with her guru who was in a hut a bit further up the slope.
                              It's got to help if you don't believe in the thoughts you're having. Thoughts like, I don't like this. Or, I'd like to go for a beer. Or, this would be much easier if I was a sadhu and could smoke a chillum, and not one filled with fung soapbar either!
                              Anyway, I did the hundred prostrations around four and then did the six three minute rounds of shadow boxing in the full Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle, so I might be a bit dehydrated. Whoa! But it is strong beer. Hmmm? I'll go for another one now.
                              I have to apologise to folk who read anything I write at any time after nine o clock at night. It isn't me, is it, Jack!? No, Hotboy, it's the booze! Be nice to change addictions soon and get into the soapbar. I've a feeling there's a drought coming up. Three weeks since I smoked anything though. Lungs like a great tree, so I have, Jack! Fung sake! That was just one beer. Three more to go! Hurrah!
                            
                            
                            
                          
                      

The Winter Wonderland!

Thursday 7:50 p.m.
                             The photies were taken yesterday on the way to and from work; in the Botanic Gardens this afternoon; and coming home from the hut this evening.
                              The kiddo and I went for a walk to the Botties this afternoon. Very beautiful in the snow, but my camera doesn't work right in that light.
                              So I got to the hut just before four and left just before six. I had on a pair of long johns, and a pair of track bottoms, and a pair of jeans, so the legs were okay. I had on two hats. I had, I thought, a better pair of gloves, but my fingers still got cold.
                               Milarepa meditated in caves near the top of Everest. God alone knows how he managed that! I had his biography with me today for inspiration.
                               Once he's done the first eleven months walled up, Marpa comes to see him and then he goes and walls himself up again. But he gets a message from a dakini and has to bust out and go to see Marpa again.
                               ' ... a young girl appeared to me one night in a dream. She was as blue as the sky and beautiful in her brocade dress and bone ornaments. She said to me .... 'But you do not have the special teaching concerning the Transference of Consciousness to Dead Bodies, which leads to Buddhahood in one moment of meditation. Ask for it,' she said, and she disappeared.'
                              That seems to be going into dead bodies and occupying them. Hmmm? Now there's a party trick!!