Bliss diary Boxing Day, 2011!

Boxing Day 9:09 a.m.
                               I was awake this morning from about 4 a.m. This means that I will siesta at some point, but i feel it is auspicious to be wakening up at that time. The Dalai Lama starts meditating at four in the morning.
                               So I've been meditating today for about three hours already, and I think I should try to say something about the heat.
                               It seems apparent that when I get into a vase breathing routine,  I will get hot now. I might get hot without the vase breathing, just by sitting there. The lama told me about eighteen months ago now that I will get hot as part of meditating. It comes eventually, I think, probably after you get episodes of bliss. So it's that kind of "natural" heat I'm getting and not the kind I was trying to get by concentrating on the symbols, channels and whatnot. Though if I keep that up, I think they'll get hot as well. The visualisations are getting slightly better.
                               Tsongkhapa talks (in The Book of the Three Inspirations, I think) about various kinds of heat you can get. Thin heat, fat heat. Heat the arises within the central channel (which is the best) and heat which feels like sunburn, which is not what you're wanting, I shouldn't think. I sometimes get a wee touch of that as well; surface skin heat. You want it to be deep and throughout, and that's what I seem to be getting most of, when I do get heat.
                               I've been interested in this heat business for about ten years now. And I've been getting drunk and stoned, and not showing much discipline in that regard at all. But I did keep meditating. So now I am sixty and the heat has started now. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a few problems with this, but Alexandra David-Neel says that after a while it settles down and you react to outside tempratures, so that you don't suffer from the cold. We'll see.
                                I'm still a flatheid when I'm walking around and doing stuff like this. Things don't look as if they're interdependent. They look separate from each other, just the way they always have done. The world still seems far too concrete. It does not look so concrete when I am meditating with my eyes half open, which I've been doing much more of, but when I'm not meditating I guess I'm as flatheided as the next joe. I hope this starts to change soon. I suppose it should.
                               All the time I spent meditating has gone. It would have gone anyway. I would have had nothing to show for it. I would just have gotten older, and closer to death, and still been a flatheid whether my eyes were open or shut.
                               You wouldn't want to be there with all the other flatheids, would you, Hotboy? Certainly not, Jack. Dearie me! The very thought of it!!!
                                I'll be sticking with the same routine of going to Newmains on Wednesday and getting back to Edinburgh on Friday. All the negative thoughts I've had to battle with over that are entirely due to my selfishness and stupidity.
                                It was awful nice to get a phone call from Jeannie from Shreveport in Lousianna, where the vampires come from, yesterday.
                                I guess this is the first sober post for a while!! Only half nine in the morning though!