Sunday 8:41 a.m.
On Friday - and the weather wasn't nice -I was on four buses and one train, saw two great grannies, and when I got home, felt knackered. The two bottles of wine I had didn't really help. Life is actually not brilliant at the moment. I feel kind of without a place to stay, or to call my own.
Obviously, I'm camping in Newmains in a big, damp, cold, leaking house. There are buckets collecting drips everywhere. When I got back here, the basin had been removed from the bathroom and the bricks bared, etc. I can do that Newmains thing when I think that I wouldn't leave a dog to die like that, but when I'm tired and things aren't going so well, my motivation gets clouded by thoughts of the uselessness of ...(the next section was edited later to take out the bilious, libellous comments ... the automatic spell checker on this thinks libellous has one el.
I've sold sixteen books in ten days. My writing blog is averaging about ten page views a day. I don't know what that means. It's averaging six visits a day.
Mostly I've been drinking in the evenings since I gave up the pizza, but I had to stop last night. I had a slow start yesterday after the two bottle night the night before, and I was on my own almost all the time, but I sat and sat and sat, and stayed sober in the evening. It's a lonely old life, so it is.
I was wondering if I'd get the sweats while sleeping, or have bad dreams, but I slept well and had a lovely dream. It was about getting nice reviews for my books. I was showing them to my mother-in-law. So I wakened up feeling really good. Then the first meditation of the day was great, just as it was turning from darkness to light, and I felt real heat and great bliss.
I'd love to be able to meditate for most of today, but I have to strip the walls and ceiling in one of the rooms. Then the ragged trousered philanthropists will be in the flat on Monday and Tuesday, and it's back to Newmains on Wednesday. I've had two weeks when I didn't have to go to Newmains in the past six months. It's starting to tell on me. I could just stay here and ... (this was also edited out to get rid of the libel!)
Keeping my mouth shut today would be a good idea!!!
7 comments:
I say!
I know exactly what's wrong with you. I'm A Celeb is finished, X Factor is about to finish, and Strictly will finish next week. You'll only have the family fun, the shared chestnuts in the fire, the socialising at Christmas and New Year, and then, on Jan 1st, you'll realise that it's STILL 4 months to go before the cricket season starts.
Rest assured - it's the same for us all.
MM III
Mingin'! I've been let off Newmains this week due to compassion fatigue and advantageous circumstances. And thank God I can stay here on my own for Christmas. No sanity claus basturns this year! Hurrah! Hotboy
When you're snowed under with kindle money, will you still remember those people like Albert who promised to share their gold bars with you?
Alone at Xmas! How did you swing that? I have to spend it with the extended outlaws.
Albert? For ever people have been saying that to me and I've always been the least prosperous person I know here in Edinburgh. Share your gold bars first!! Hotboy
Albert? For ever people have been saying that to me and I've always been the least prosperous person I know here in Edinburgh. Share your gold bars first!! Hotboy
After all Albert has done for you!
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