Non Verbals

Thursday  9:30 p.m.
                             At first, I was a bit intimidated by the thought of going to see our friend with the MS because I'm not expecting her to say much back. A few words in the course of the hour or so. Facial gestures. Smiles and grimaces. But I know what she's like. I know her quite a bit better than I did a couple of years ago, before she went into this respite care routine because her husband has his difficulties handling the situation, and who wouldn't? But he's still there and so is she. I rabbit at her for an hour or so. I tell her about what's going on with me and mine. She's sometimes quite amused. She's better value than paying $100 an hour to some therapist. I admire her as well. Nobody could put up with what she's putting up with as well as she does. MS killed my sister so I have some understanding of this. What a trooper!! I've just got to relax more. She can take the silences better than I can.
                           Today, the channels and symbols made a comeback. This might be a good thing and it might be a bad thing. I saw the Ringu Tulku speaking once and he said that sometimes people ask him what practise they should be doing. He said he didn't know what practise they should be doing, but he didn't say that. (Much laughter from the audience) He said he asked them what practise they understood best, and then he told them they should be doing that. This has stuck in my head for a good reason. The Ringu Tulku is very big in the juju. He said even if you became enlightened, you still had to deal with experience. That's interesting.
                           Anyway, the Samye Ling didn't like the Bliss of Inner Fire being published. They are most kind and don't want bad things to happen to folk. Bad things would occur if hundreds of folk just read this book and then went out and did this juju. There would be crashing and burning all over the shop.
                            The acid king who went down as a consequence of Operation Julie wanted to have a statement read out to the jury which his lawyers advised against. The boy said he wanted to change the consciousness of western youth. If a lot of people take acid, a lot of people will have a horrible time. There will be a lot of casualties. I had some bad times taking acid, but not any really bad times. Of course, I did not take all that much acid. But some folk who didn't take any more ended up in Ward 3.
                              That's a check your age reference! Ward 3 was the poisoned ward in the old Royal Infirmary.
                             Be careful. If you can't be good, be careful. I am not going to crash and burn. I am not going to get a Gopi Krishna number. This vase breathing and symbols and channels stuff fits me like a glove. If I do crash and burn, fair enough. I'm nearly sixty. Who cares?
                              Once  when  I got evicted from a flat, I walked with my suitcase to the end of the Meadows and got on a bus to take me half way along. I was between things. I'd been staying in a flat with three girls. When I got to the succour of a flat with my friends in it, I was trying to tell one of them what a fung up my life had become, and the joe kept saying that I'd just been phoned up (I'd given their phone number in the advert I put in the paper) by this guy who was offering me another flat (to get evicted from later).
                              My life has been a procession of this stuff. I'm  not going to crash and burn. I'm acute. I will be forewarned. Like a drug dealer I used to know, I'll stop just at the right time. A little hint and cease. So it's set your controls for the heart of the sun! What bliss I had today!! What bliss!
                               Oh, what a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!!