Bliss update!

Friday 9:20 p.m.
                         What with it being the start of the month, the snowing, but mainly because there is no soapbar, I've been drinking far too much! Every night  I think I should be like Milarepa and stay meditating, but every night I've been going to the off-license instead. I had been drinking the plonko collapso, but I'm really a beer drinker at heart.
                           I got four tonight. Just poured the first one. Peckham's have stopped stocking the Erdinger I like. This one is called Schneider Weisse Tap 6. It weighs in at a very impressive alc. 8.2 % vol and costs an atrocious £2.79. I bought two of those and two Grolsch Wheatbeer which costs £2.45 and weighs in at a less impressive alc 5.3% vol.
                          After four of these I know I will waken up slightly muggy, but more or less intact. It's worth it to buy the dear stuff. Anyway, this post was supposed to be about ra bliss and not about ra piss!
                           I couldn't go to see the Auld Maw today because the snow has stopped the trains. I started meditating  just after ten. This is late and because of the beer dose from last night. Anyway, I could tell right away that the bus had moved on considerably. I put in a lot of meditating yesterday before I hit the beer and it showed alright. Also, I wasn't at work on Monday or Tuesday, and only did the half day on Wednesday, so I've been hammering the meditations all week really, maybe doing about six hours a day.
                            This is not enough, Jack! I know, Hotboy. You should be doing eight hours a day if you're not writing and not going to the jobbie! Oh well!
                            Anyway, this morning was just fabulous. Tons of bliss, some heat, things opening and whatnot. But it's ridiculous that I'm drinking. I'm acting as if I'm going to live forever, or have no faith in this juju; just idling along with the pollutions and all. The thing is I don't have any faith in anything. The Dalai Lama says he's not a buddha, so what bloody chance have I got?
                            There's a boy on a video I stuck on facebook who says you have to endure the hardship, and I'm afraid I'm just a wimp when it comes to that. Doing six hours a day is quite easy and enjoyable. I don't know if it would be enjoyable to be walled up, never sleeping, sitting with a butter lamp on your head ...
                             Of course, it would be wonderful, Hotboy!! Remember the bliss! Remember the visualisations you might achieve! When you were tired and sore, it might be horrible, of course, but it would be worth it. So it would. You just have to get your head into that determined space maybe.
                             Alexandra David-Neel said she loved it when the snows came and the passes were blocked and she could sit in her hut meditating until the spring. I think she did a twelve year stint with her guru who was in a hut a bit further up the slope.
                              It's got to help if you don't believe in the thoughts you're having. Thoughts like, I don't like this. Or, I'd like to go for a beer. Or, this would be much easier if I was a sadhu and could smoke a chillum, and not one filled with fung soapbar either!
                              Anyway, I did the hundred prostrations around four and then did the six three minute rounds of shadow boxing in the full Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle, so I might be a bit dehydrated. Whoa! But it is strong beer. Hmmm? I'll go for another one now.
                              I have to apologise to folk who read anything I write at any time after nine o clock at night. It isn't me, is it, Jack!? No, Hotboy, it's the booze! Be nice to change addictions soon and get into the soapbar. I've a feeling there's a drought coming up. Three weeks since I smoked anything though. Lungs like a great tree, so I have, Jack! Fung sake! That was just one beer. Three more to go! Hurrah!