The Hotboy Escort Agency!

Sunday 9:30 p.m.
                           Yes, someone left me a message on the last blog asking what had happened to the vase breathing posts and whatnot. Well, since most of the folk landing on this bloggy are perverts, I assume all the anonymous comments are from Albert just trying to wind me up. So if you really want to know about the bliss and the vase breathing and whatnot, what you should do is ask me out.
                           I went out to watch a footie match with the consiglieri yesterday and had a really good time. The last time I was at a footie match was about 1987 or thereabouts, when Graeme Souness was still playing for the huns. Four one to the huns against the Hearts. You had to admire the brutality. Souness was the first to get booked. Three out of his back four were booked.
                            It's completely different now, Jack! There are seats to sit on. Wee sprinkly nozzle things pop up out of the grass and wet it. Mechanised. It's the Dalek turf. It looks like somebody's living room carpet. What happened to the famous slope at Easter Road? Aye, changed days, so they are.
                            I'm always amazed and impressed that I can remember things from the long ago and stuff like the slope, and when there was proper grass, and mud, and puddles. You can sit a bit stoned now in a half lotus and watch the games. The place was half empty of course.
                            Anyway, the consiglieri paid £22 to get me in and gave me a present which must have cost about £10 on top. So it cost him about £32 to see me. Of course, for him I would have given it for free, but ...
                            You wouldn't expect to get to have an evening with me for nothing, would you? I think about twenty quid and a wee present is just about the minimum. For that, what would a client get, Hotboy?
                             Well, Jack, what you get is moi! And I like to talk. What could you talk about, Hotboy? Well, after talking about the footie, the wonderful writings, all the interesting perverts I've met, world history, socialism, anarchism, tai chi, boxing, yoga, and meditation, we could get onto tantric sex..... At this point, the £22 plus the present has been used up ... also, I'm far too old for this hanky panky malarkey, but if you want my take on it, it'll cost a bit more than thirty quid!
                             You're in the embrace of the scary red babes, who has the sword, trident, dagger, etc., in her eight hands .... I don't know how many drugs you have to take to get here, Jack, but I can't afford them ... and she is sitting in  your lap, and you are in a lotus position. I don't know who is getting skewered here. It could be both of yous, but I think there should be only one thing, or approaching that at this point.
                             She stares at your enemies in the ten directions and she's a red hot, scary bissum, there's no doubt about that, Jack!
                             You are ecstatic and blissful anyway with the arisings of the inner heat, but .... you and she take a breath and hold it, squeezing it from the top and bottom. This means you raise the pelvic floor muscles together. So it's grip and throb. Then you breath out. It's relax, but what with the amazing bliss and heat that will arise when you relax and breath out ...
                              I think these shenanigans are necessary if you haven't done this juju before. Hmmm? I think if you are not totally purified and see everything in deityville by this time, you just shoot off to hell as usual. Well, who wants a shot of this first?
                             I think I should charge more than £22 and a wee present for this.