We're at the start of sixth year at school. Some folk were going to be made prefects and some people weren't. The boy in charge of this was the priest. Father Burns. He was the boy who got us all to say that contraception should be okay just as the evilness came upon us, circa 196 ... when the only good Papa passed away and it all went down the tubes.
We pledged that we would not be prefects if we were asked, but Tony got asked and I didn't. So I wasn't allowed in the wee prefects room and Tony was, but he wasn't wanting to go there much because I wasn't allowed in, and a lot of the prefects were complete basturns. Father Burns tried to get the reprobates to be prefects and I don't think that worked too well. He might have been progressive. Funged up my catholicism, so he did!
So Tony gets put in charge of the Christmas show when we were in sixth year at school. He also got put in charge of the big board in the English corridor. Mr White let Tony do what he wanted with that board and he wrote stuff on it, and got ... I was his pal and didn't really pay much attention, and sometimes he stuck stuff up on this board and sometimes he didn't. So I don't really care and it's just something that happens. He didn't study, but was dead good with stuff off the top of his head.
Mr White had room 24. You weren't allowed to be in the corridors or anything, but since Tony was in charge of sticking things on this board in the the English corridor and Mr White was the head English teacher, me and Tony, since I was his pal, were allowed to be there. Because of Tony, we were allowed to sit in room 24. Nobody else was. Me and Tony used to sit there and rap. Mr White, we all knew, had a wife who had polio, and he sometimes came into his room at lunchtime to find me and Tony sitting there up the back rapping away. He said once that I should take up debating. But Tony was the joe for that. No way was I interested in that. I'd die first.
There was a Christmas show and Tony was organising the Christmas show for our year. Bunch of basturns he was doing this with. I told him to watch out because I did not trust these currants, but Tony breezed on and they were cool.
I got to get out of classes because Tony was my pal who was organising this show and I got to play the Indian Band. So I've got a stupid towel round my waist and a blacked up face and a guitar with no strings. I mean, it's just awful, but the first years loved it.
The bunch of basturns he was doing the main thing with turned out to be very talented musicians as well.
So he's just got off with the girl from Renfrew at this time. And he has to go and see her. I'm not happy with this because for the first time in about two years he has to do something without me. It's the only time I almost fell out with him. So I manipulated things; a quiet word here and there ... We had to go to the YMCA in Bellshill that Saturday so I could try to lumber someone and ask them to got to the school dance. We never lumbered anyone out of that dancehall, but that night I picked on the best looking girl we used to dance with and asked her to go to the school Christmas dance.
A week or so later, Tony fixed me up with a blind date with his new friend's best pal and everything chilled out again.
9 comments:
Tony fixed me up too with a blind date a few years later. As did you, I think - that one was with the Queen of St Lucia. Both were on the rebound. The females, not me - my whole life was a pinball machine.
Anyway, this isn't about me. Any religion where folk set their mates up with dates must have something going for it.
Albert? Tony set me up for two blind dates! Excellent things. Much enjoyed both of them! Hotboy p.s. Can you tell that I was pissed when I wrote this? Well, it was late on Friday night!
"Hotboy": impostor! The real Hotters is teetotal.
I say!
Can we see a snap of you with a blacked up face?
MM III
Mingin'! No! Hotboy
Albert? The Queen of St Lucia? Obviously, I was in love with her and I wasn't mature enough for us to clutch bosoms together. She is one of the fantastic people! How did it go for you? I can't believe I was so wonderful to set you up for a blind date with her. She is the nicest person. She is the kind of josephine who gives josephines a good name. I would marry her right now if she asked me and had some money! Dearie me! We just shooty shooty ourselves every time something good shows up. Hotboy
Hotters. The blind date at her place went badly. Groucho Marx didn't want to belong to the sort of club that would accept him as a member. I was freaked out by any woman that would cook dinner for someone like me. I was an idiot.
Albert? If she'd realised what a pervert you were, it might have helped! Hotboy p.s. She ended up marrying a total ... anyway, even you would have been better!
To be fair to the girl, in those days I wasn't much of a pervert at all. It's all balancing up
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