Mixed metaphors!

Thursday 10:20 p.m.
                              
                                I remember getting an awful lot of bliss before I took refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.
                               The great buddha, Lama Yeshe Losal, is my guru. Here's what goes on.
                               So somewhat reluctantly, with some misgivings about leaving my catholic roots although I hadn't practised catholicism for a long time, I took refuge on January 3rd, 2003.
                               It was one of the years I gave up drinking. Purification and accumulation.
                               I took a couple of deep breaths while waiting for the Domestic Bliss to get on with her celebration of her fiftieth birthday, and an amazing thing occurred with the heat freaking me out as it sprang from the navel chakra up into my lungs. Filigree, leaf veins filled in the lungs, but there was some movement before that which just arose. So it arises and then goes WOOF out into this what seems like a lung system of veins.
                              This has never happened again. Recently, I was wondering if this was an exhibition of the forces you cannot control which the lama warned me of in July. But it wasn't. It think now it was a cleansing.
                              Around then, I got the connection between the bliss and the breathing. This is the most wonderful thing. It doesn't work all the time, but you can go there.
                              So, you have the outbreath and the movement of the something in the sheath that you think you have developed. It's happening in the sheath.
                               I think now that the sheath and the central channel of The Great Yajrayana  are the same thing. The sheath is the same size as your body except a wee bit bigger. Tumultuous wonderful bliss and all  go blasting through this.
                             These are winds. These are the winds entering the central channel. I've been trying to visualise this central channel as being a straw thick and going up by my spine, but that is not the way it has been manifesting. What is happening is that you are in the central channel. You are the central channel.
                              And after a while the winds enter the central channel and they abide before stabilising.
                               Are they stabilising, Jack?
                               I think they are, Hotboy?
                               And what does this mean?
                                This means that ... it's kind of starting to stop. It's so white and bright and wonderful. But it's not changing so much. You might want to do all of this and that, and being busy with you're emanating as a deity and whatnot, but when it starts to stop, you have the bliss. You don't have so much happening in the sheath or the channel. You have the bliss.
                                You also have your friends dying. And your jobbie being crap. And maybe you have the dying of something ... like starvation. Anything.
                                 There is no discernible beginning or ending to this samsara. I would like to have less contact with it. If you've got food and beer and drugs, I can live in your hut and become a living saint. I could meditate for you. I could become good.Little by little.