Nicotine Dragon part 2

Thursday 10:00 p.m.
                               I'm still meditating between thirty and forty hours a week.
                               This current nicotine withdrawal unfortunately occurred when the consiglieri had set up this meeting with Dale Robertson from Wells Fargo Publishing. So I wasn't able to enjoy it as much as I would have. Also, I hate going out on a Tuesday. Totally wrong time of the week for me. I need to make up the time at night when I've wasted so much time on the jobbie.
                                Anyway, the hat's off to the consiglieri if he pulls this off. I hate trying to sell stuff, at least when it gets serious. Sending abusive emails to agents and publishers can be fun, but actually talking business with folk is something I hate doing. It's not writing. Writing is something I do want to do. Talking to folk about writing is something I don't want to do. It's like going to work.
                                What I want is some completion at the moment. Just now, I can't really see the point of spending time writing another novel (when I could be meditating instead!)(and doing ra bliss!) when I have so many unpublished novels stacked up.
                                My preferred option was what I had a few years ago. A webpage where the stuff was on it and you could download it for nothing. Nobody likes that. The trouble with that is that nobody knows it's there either and nobody knows who I am and nobody is going to read any of it. Actually, one or two people did read the books off that page. There was one student at Edinburgh uni who went through the lot of them and read every one. However, basically it's just going to sit there.
                               If the consiglieri gets the deal together with Wells Fargo, some people will know there's a webpage there and we might even make some money. To effect this, I might have to start doing readings, but that would get me out of the house and could be quite a good laugh.
                                What do you want, Hotboy? I want to become enlightened, Jack. I want to sit in the hut. This is a possible route towards that. I need to get out of the jobbie. That's crucial. I can't sit in the hut until I'm sixty five unless I have some other kind of income. Otherwise, I could be in the hut when I'm sixty two, about two years or so away.
                                 Is this going to happen, Hotboy? Yes, it is, Jack. Why is it going to happen, Hotboy? It is going to happen, Jack, because people are looking after me. The consiglieri is looking after me. The Domestic Bliss is looking after me. I am supported on all sides.
                                 And what is your role in all this, Hotboy? I have written the books. Now, what I have to do is stop smoking joints. Stop smoking joints and keep sitting. Why have you got to stop smoking joints, Hotboy? Well, Jack, my weak point is my lungs. Smoking will kill me. If I stop smoking ... I want to live till I'm eighty four. My granda lived till he was eighty four even although he had pneumoconiosis from working down the pits. The buddha lived till he was eighty four. Milarepa lived till he was eighty four. My uncle, Daniel O'Connell,  lived till he was eighty three. Prostrate cancer killed him and I expect it'll kill me if I stop smoking.
                                  Enlightenment in this very lifetime is all that matters. I have to live a long time because I'm stupid. The auld maw is ninety two. Her granny lived till she was one hundred and four. Unfortunately, we are not guaranteed the time. So I have to stop smoking.