Nine Years On!

Wednesday 1.18 p.m.
                                 It's just over nine years since I took refuge with Lama Yeshe Losal and became a Tibetan Buddhist, of sorts.
                                 I started meditating at half five this morning after two whole days of  complete sobriety. This is the first time I've had nothing to drink since this time last week! Dearie me!
                                 So earlier on in the week I was feeling a wee bit despondent about the chances of getting this juju to work, what with all the lack of faith and believe, the stumblebumming around the shop, and such like. So then I started reading the book about Guru Yoga again.
                                  The juju of jujus is, of course, ridiculous! It says you'll get the juice straight from the Buddha through your guru, who you have to think of being of the same mind as whatever deity you try to visualise.
                                   Of course, I don't believe in the truth. I believe in getting stuff to work like a good pragmatist should. So you have to put your mind in the right frame somehow.
                                    For the last two years nearly I've been a bit wary of the drops and channels and vase breathing stuff, ever since Lama Yeshe told me to watch out.
                                    But I had a lot of time to meditate this morning what with starting at half five and all, so I ended up giving it laldy. So you tell yourself you'r going to rely somehow on the guru and you're visualisation of him is pretty good though the Medicine Buddha one is still dead ropy, but improved.
                                     Then it's really starting to work. The effects of the vase breathing are taking you to places you've never been again. It was wonderful, wonderful. Just thought I'd let you unfortunate creatures who are too dumb to meditate that this is the bliss!! This is the bliss!! This is the bliss!!